


i'm gonna leave you anyway

by yiling_weis



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Explicit Sexual Content, Friends With Benefits, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, M/M, Nanase Haruka & Tachibana Makoto & Tokyo, Nanase Haruka and Tachibana Makoto Don't Grow Up Together, Trust Issues, Urethral Play, a bit of a slow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2020-11-26 18:37:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 27,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20934890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yiling_weis/pseuds/yiling_weis
Summary: Haruka sighed. “I told you upfront. I… I don’t do relationships.”“Me neither.” Makoto reminded him. “So if we both know that it can't work, then there's no harm. Right?”It’s the story of Makoto and Haruka, university life, Tokyo, friendship, fear, and learning that it’s all fun and games until they fall in love for real.





	1. have you ever fallen asleep with food in your mouth?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! Welcome to another emotional roller-coaster journey with me. This fic is based on my favourite TV series, ‘You’re The Worst’, which is about two people who don’t believe in relationships but find themselves getting into one.
> 
> I’ve always wanted to write something humorous, with quirky characters to play with, and is not heavy right off the bat. I hope the punchlines are as funny as they are weird. :’) The fic will be unrealistic and sitcom-ish from time to time so please don’t take it seriously. 
> 
> A little note on Japanese signatures: I’m aware that Japanese people use seals/stamps for signatures but let’s forget about them for the plot’s sake. Okay? Okay. 
> 
> Don’t forget to tell me what you think! I love reading all your comments. ₍•͈ᴗ•͈₎

Makoto groaned in frustration. Desperately, he looked at the paper in his hands and read the words for what seemed like the hundredth time:

_ This is to inform you that my son, Tachibana Makoto, a third year Business Management student, will be unable to attend his lectures on April 16th, Friday, due to a very important business dinner. He will be back to the routine next Monday. _

_ Thank you for your cooperation. _

All he had to do was to write his father’s signature above his name, but he lacked artistic skills to make it look authentic. His parents would surely disown him and lock him in prison for the rest of his life! It was what he deserved, for attempting his low-key rebellion. 

Rebellion? It wasn’t his intention to hurt his parents, who were the kindest, most loving people in the world. He only wanted to take a day off from school. Just one day. The new school year had only begun a couple of weeks ago and he was already feeling burnt out.

Making a fake excuse letter seemed like a good idea. He would tell his professors to excuse him from class to attend a business dinner in Osaka (at their university, business students were _ encouraged _ to skip classes in exchange of networking). He didn’t anticipate how much stress it would cause him.

He closed his eyes. Pulling at his hair, he groaned again. He almost fell over when he found a pair of blue eyes staring intensely at him. 

“AAAAHHHHH!” 

Realising he practically screamed at the other person’s face, he stuttered an apology. “I-I’m sorry! I thought I was the only one out here!” 

The Horticulture Department rooftop was a place he discovered recently while walking aimlessly around the campus. It was the perfect place to enjoy the lovely April weather and breathe. Nobody else ever came to his secret spot before. 

Without taking his eyes off of Makoto, the guy backed off. His face was still too close for comfort, making Makoto’s heart do backflips in his chest. 

“I tried to ignore you when you stepped in,” said the stranger, his voice deep and quiet. “But you’ve been groaning like a dying animal for the past half hour. It was getting difficult to ignore.” 

Despite his words, his tone was steady and calming. 

Makoto bowed his head low. “I’m really sorry for disturbing you.” 

“That’s okay. I was just reading my book in the corner,” replied the stranger. He pointed at the paper on Makoto’s lap. “Can I help you with this?”

“O-Oh I— uh—” 

Before Makoto could explain his problem, the stranger took the pen and the paper from him. “Let’s see…” 

“I need to copy this. It’s my dad’s,” said Makoto, swallowing his fear and showing a copy of his father’s signature.

The stranger nodded and studied the signature for a second. Then, he scribbled on the fake excuse letter, looping the pen across the paper effortlessly. He handed it back to Makoto. “How does it look?”

Makoto’s mouth hung open. “Perfect. Th-Thank you very much!” 

The guy shrugged. “I used to do it all the time because my parents were always too busy to sign my school trip forms,” he said, his face expressionless. “I’m just kidding. I don’t have parents.”

Makoto’s surprise must have been evident in his face because the guy threw his head back and laughed, an unexpected gentle sound that tickled Makoto’s ears.

He punched Makoto’s arm lightly and said, “Relax, I’m just messing with you.” 

Breathing out the lungful of air he held, Makoto took the chance to examine his strange companion. He was probably around the same age and majoring in arts because of the way he dressed— with black denim jacket, tattered jeans, and army boots. Makoto also caught a glimpse of sea waves inked across the insides of his wrists. 

He looked very familiar but Makoto couldn’t remember where he saw him. They must have passed by each other at the campus a couple of times… 

“You’re friends with Matsuoka Rin, right?” asked Makoto, referring to a classmate. 

“Yes,” the stranger replied. “I’m Nanase Haruka.” 

His name rang a bell, but Makoto couldn’t associate it with anything. 

“I’m Tachibana Makoto.”

“Hmm, another guy with a girly name. Cool, cool,” replied Nanase-san. The ring on his bottom lip caught the light when he smiled. “Did you get teased a lot about it when you were in primary school?” 

“Yeah, my classmates used to call me ‘Mako-chan’,” replied Makoto, his cheeks heating up. “Come to think of it, I have a roommate who still calls me ‘Mako-chan’.”

Nanase-san chuckled in amusement. 

“To be fair, he calls everyone ‘-chan’ so it doesn’t bother me much.”

“He sounds like an interesting guy.” Nanase-san checked the time on his watch. “Hey, I’m going to this really cool bar. You wanna come? You look like you need a drink.” 

Makoto looked at his backpack, thinking about the mountain of lecture notes he needed to read that night. “Yeah, sure!” 

* * *

Once they hit the road, Makoto started second guessing his decision. He sat on the passenger’s seat hanging on for dear life as Nanase-san swerved left and right, navigating the rush-hour roads with his reckless driving. 

“C-Careful, Nanase-san!” exclaimed Makoto as they almost collided with the car in front of them. 

Nanase-san swerved and accelerated until they overtook it. He chuckled at Makoto’s nervousness, the soft sound drowned by the deafening techno music from the speakers. 

Makoto felt squeamish by the time they stopped at a parking lot. His shaking legs made it difficult to walk. 

Why did he come with Nanase-san? He didn’t even like going to bars. He never understood their appeal— the dark, the loud music, people getting drunk and stupid. He had visions of getting picked up by random strangers and being subjected to dark deeds in a seedy hotel room and never seeing the light of day again. 

However, this bar was different. It was hidden underground, between the tracks of two train stations. They must have been in Shibuya or Shinjuku, but he couldn’t be sure. He’d been living in Tokyo for three years already, but he hadn’t gone out enough to be familiar with its many wards. 

The bar was really small and quiet. It looked more like a café with 80’s-themed interior and vintage Nintendo displays, which brought him nostalgia and excitement. They had their own little nook so nobody was likely to bother them and they ordered plates of sushi to share and drinks that were named after video game characters. 

“Wow, I haven’t played Mario Kart since third grade!” said Makoto, picking up one of the controllers. 

“So what other excuses did you use to get out of class?” asked Nanase-san. 

“Ahh I rarely skip classes to be honest, but some of my friends do really weird things just to be excused,” replied Makoto. “I know some people from middle school who chugged cough medicine and gave themselves rashes.”

“Oh wow.” Nanase-san chuckled. “I know some people who poked their eyeballs until they stung and looked like sore eyes.” 

They laughed. Makoto recounted more weird stories to Nanase-san, feeling comfortable because he actually listened. Looking into his eyes, Makoto could read his genuine interest. 

They shared plate after plate of sushi and _ yakitori _ while talking about embarrassing stories from high school. After a couple more glasses of ‘Dr. Mario’, Makoto felt confident enough to share what had been bothering him recently. 

“I should probably take my studies more seriously if I want to go to America next year,” he said. 

Nanase-san looked up at him in surprise. “Why do you wanna go to America? Don’t you like it here?” 

“It’s not that I don’t like it here, it’s just…” Makoto hesitated. “My department has a good exchange program and I want to grab the opportunity. Besides, I want to make my parents happy. They’ve always supported me, and they expect me to take over the family business in the future.” 

He wanted to say how much he wanted to get out of Japan and live his own life in another country, but he didn’t want to be a downer. He’d only met Nanase-san after all, and they were having so much fun. 

Nanase-san hummed. “My parents work there so I visit from time to time, and let me tell you: I still prefer Japan.” 

Makoto blinked. “How come?” 

“Almost everything’s the same, except the trains get delayed a lot. In some states, you have to drive for half an hour just to get anywhere. People are noisy and talking all the time and customers keep chatting with check-out clerks despite the long line.” 

Makoto was silent for a moment, drumming his fingers on his lap while the game loaded. “Well, it will be great if I can see it all for myself,” he said. “Don’t you find it ridiculous how we get busier year after year? More lectures, more tests… Next year, we’ll have to start looking for our first real job. I feel bad for my friends who break-up with their boyfriends or girlfriends because they couldn’t make time.” 

“Yeah, breakups are messy. I heard,” said Nanase-san, keeping his focus on the screen and clicking the control buttons with incredible speed. “I don’t really do relationships.”

Makoto turned to the screen. “Me neither.” 

They played in silence and ordered more drinks. After another two rounds of _ Tekken, _Nanase-san asked him if he wanted to go to Odaiba. Not one to refuse, Makoto followed him to the train station because Nanase-san left his car at the parking lot— they were following a well-rehearsed routine, it seemed. 

Makoto followed Nanase-san, walking behind him and watching how his dark hair and black clothes blended with the shadows. He couldn’t take his eyes off of the half-crescent moon that adorned the back of his pale neck. 

They stopped at a park and sat on the grass. This spot had a panoramic view of Tokyo’s skyline, the towering Rainbow Bridge to their right. Makoto closed his eyes, feeling the cool night breeze. 

“Tokyo looks very pretty from here,” he said.

“You’ve never been here before?” 

“Never.” 

“You should learn how to treat yourself from time to time. Loosen up, you know?” said Nanase-san. “Watch robot shows, ride a Mario Kart in Akihabara, binge on seafood until your tummy hurt… Experience all the weird things this big, weird city has to offer.” 

Makoto lay on the grass and rubbed circles on his bloated stomach. He wondered if this was how his cats felt whenever he overfed them. “Speaking of bingeing food, I’m so full!”

Nanase-san smiled. “Maybe our tummies would hurt tomorrow and we’d skip our lectures.” 

“Maybe.”

Nanase-san turned to Makoto, the distant city lights splashing his dark hair with bright colours. “Have you ever fallen asleep with food in your mouth?” 

Caught off guard by the bizarre question, Makoto snorted. “No, have you?”

Nanase-san nodded. “I probably got tired of chewing and fell asleep.” 

“Did you wake up hungry and realised you had food in your mouth and was like ‘awesome!’”

“I certainly did!” 

Makoto laughed harder than he should have. He waited for Nanase-san to say more, but he gazed at him wordlessly instead. 

“What?” he asked, alarmed. “What? What? What?” 

“I made you laugh.” Nanase-san bumped his shoulder against his. 

Feeling blood rushing to his face, Makoto said, “Believe it or not, I do laugh sometimes. I just had a stressful day.” 

“Yeah, I believe you.” 

Makoto wasn’t sure if it was the cool spring breeze that spread goosebumps across his skin. He had never met anyone like Nanase-san who had inked skin, pierced lips, and could beat him at _ Tekken _ relentlessly while talking about strange high school experiences. Being around him made Makoto feel cool for the first time in his life. 

Recently, he often found himself wanting to escape, to break his life’s monotony. He would bury himself with schoolwork. He was already in his third year in university and he couldn’t say he’d experienced university life at all. He would lie in bed and stare at the ceiling, thinking _ where’s all the university life they show on TV and movies? Where’s all the fun? _ Deep down, he knew he couldn’t find it because he was living like a hermit and always declining friends’ invitations to parties and meet new people. 

But in this moment, he was having fun. This was the Tokyo experience he had imagined before leaving the countryside and he wanted more. 

That night as he lay in bed, a supercut of his bizarre day flashed on the back of his eyelids. He saw shadows, the colours of Rainbow Bridge, the glow of a TV screen on his face, blue eyes staring at the distance… Makoto fell asleep feeling like he was floating in the night sky, smiling. 

* * *

The next day, Makoto woke up earlier than usual despite sleeping late. Rolling over, he found his two cats, Aki and Fuyu, curled up on the other side of the bed and greeted them _ good morning _. Pop music would often be blaring across the walls, but he was met with yelling in the other bedroom. 

“This is a body and it is beautiful! I’m not ashamed of it! ARE _ YOU _ ASHAMED OF MY BODY?!” 

“O-Of course, I’m not! I just— ahhh— M-Makoto-senpai!“ 

“‘Mornin’,” Makoto emerged from his bedroom and greeted his housemates, Rei and Nagisa. 

Rei pushed his glasses against the bridge of his nose, tense. “I-I’m sorry about the noise. Nagisa’s insisting on doing his morning yoga rituals in the nude and I think it’s disrespectful. I’m very sorry.” 

“You don’t know what you guys are missing out!” said Nagisa, approaching them in nothing but his tiny penguin-printed boxer shorts. “It’s the best thing I learned from Movement Fundamentals class. We should all do naked yoga one time!” 

Makoto sniggered and ruffled his blond hair. “Okay, Nagisa.” 

Rei sighed. “There’s coffee in the kitchen.” 

Together, they moved to the kitchen to start their day. 

The house had been purchased by Makoto’s parents so he didn’t have to rent while studying in university. Despite being fully-furnished and walking distance from the university, Makoto found it too big and empty, that was why he looked for roommates. 

Ever since they rented the house with him last year, Makoto had grown used to Rei and Nagisa’s quirks and little squabbles. Rei was majoring in Film, while Nagisa was majoring in Theatre Arts. Both of them were in their second year and members of the university swim team. Makoto was happy and contented to have them live with him because they brought more life to the house, distracting him from being away from his parents and his two younger twin siblings. 

Nagisa sat across him, chin on his hand, munching a buttered toast Rei made him. “Someone’s happy today.” 

Looking up, Makoto found Nagisa smirking at him. Was he smiling like an idiot all this time? 

“You came home late last night. Did you meet someone cool?” Nagisa wiggled his eyebrows. 

“N-Not really,” he said, taking a sip of his coffee. 

“Aww what’s the point of having a god-like body if you don’t have someone to show it off?” Nagisa poked at his bicep. 

“Nagisa, leave Makoto-senpai alone.” Rei rolled his eyes and sat next to him. “Toast?” 

“Ahh no thanks. I’m still bloated from last night,” replied Makoto. “Maybe I should skip my lectures today...”

Rei and Nagisa gazed at him, concerned. 

“Are you okay, Mako-chan?” 

Makoto huffed. If Nanase-san was here, he would have chuckled instead of giving him a look of concern. “Yeah, I’m okay. Don’t mind me.” 

Both Rei’s and Nagisa’s phones chimed, distracting them from Makoto’s ‘discomfort’. 

“It’s Rin-chan,” said Nagisa. “He said training will be 30 minutes later than usual today.” 

Rei nodded. 

Makoto fiddled with his phone as Rei and Nagisa got ready for their classes. Regret and disappointment bubbled in his chest when he realised he didn’t ask for Nanase-san’s number. Then he remembered having a common friend. 

He lay on the couch and looked through Matsuoka Rin’s social media profiles, hoping he could find Nanase-san’s but he didn’t seem to have any. He scrolled through Matsuoka-san’s Instagram account, rifling through countless selfies, photos of his family, a tall guy with black hair and teal eyes, and the swim team. 

He scrolled and scrolled until, finally, he found photos of Nanase-san from a few years back. A lot of them were taken at a beach in Sydney, Australia, where Matsuoka-san and Nanase-san were taking a black dog for a walk. Further down, there were more photos of Nanase-san. One of them was with Matsuoka-san’s family, a huge and ornate Christmas tree behind them. Everyone was grinning, except for Nanase-san who was looking away from the camera. The caption said: _ Merry Christmas from my family to yours! _

Makoto clicked on the tag _ nanaseeeeh _but the account was private. 

_ Nanase Haruka _

_ swim free _ (sea wave emoji)

_ 20 posts, 100 followers, 5 following _

Approaching a dead end, Makoto was left with gazing at Nanase-san’s profile picture. He looked a lot younger— it must have been around the same time he and Matsuoka-san were in Australia. He was at the beach, the wind blowing his hair as he looked at the distance, oblivious to the person capturing the moment.

Makoto placed his phone on his chest and stared at the ceiling, sighing. If he wanted Nanase-san’s number, maybe he should approach his best friend. 

* * *

As Business Management majors, Makoto and Matsuoka-san shared a lot of classes. However, Makoto waited for all their lectures to be over before approaching Matsuoka-san. He felt silly hovering in the hallway with his heart pounding in his chest. Matsuoka-san was talking to the teal-eyed, black-haired guy who was constantly with him, his sports bag slung over one shoulder. 

“—See you later,” said Matsuoka-san, tiptoeing to peck the guy on the cheek. 

Makoto called out to him before he headed to the pool. “Matsuoka-san!” 

Matsuoka-san turned to him, startled. “Tachibana?”

“You’re friends with Nanase Haruka, right?” 

Giving Makoto a flat look, Matsuoka-san kept walking. “Why? Did you sleep with him last night?”

“What? No! It’s not like that I—” said Makoto, choked up by how Matsuoka-san was so casual about his words. “Do people ask you about Nanase-san after they sleep together?” 

“Oh _ man, _you’re not ready for that narrative.” 

“It’s just… Nanase-san helped me with something and I want to thank him, but I don’t know how to contact him so I was wondering if you could give me his phone number.” 

“Classic move, Tachibana.” Matsuoka-san stopped walking. “I may be his best friend, but I’m not his wingman okay? I know you’re a nice guy, but I’m not helping either of you to get laid.” 

Makoto tried to hide the disappointment in his face, but he must have failed because Matsuoka-san’s expression softened a bit. 

“If you want to see him again, you should probably look for him where you met for the first time.” 

Before Makoto could reply, a tall, muscular, red-haired _ senpai _ appeared at the end of the hallway. “Matsuoka, I need my Vice-Captain— now!” 

“Coming, Captain!” Matsuoka-san gave him a last look and ran towards his captain. 

* * *

Left with no other ideas, Makoto took Matsuoka-san’s advice and headed back to the Horticulture Department rooftop. If Nanase-san was there, then great. If not, then he would have to wait for the next time he’d see him. It shouldn’t bother him at all. 

“Looking for someone?”

Makoto’s heart jumped in his chest at the sound of the deep and quiet voice. 

“Ah, Nanase-san.” He tried not to show his excitement as he sat with Nanase-san in the corner. “I didn’t know you’d be here again.” 

“Seems like this spot has the best sunset view in the entire university so I come here sometimes to paint it,” replied Nanase-san, pointing at his watercolour book. 

Makoto gazed at the pastel-coloured sky. He wanted to see it painted across the pages of Nanase-san’s watercolour book. “It is beautiful! I wonder why not many people come here.” 

“It’s because it’s cursed.” 

“Wha—? W-Why would you say that?!” 

“Haven’t you heard the rumours?” 

“I don’t wanna hear about them!” 

Nanase-san chuckled. “Okay, I won’t tell. How did your letter go?” 

“Oh, yeah about that. Thanks for the signature again! It looks identical,” said Makoto. “It got approved so I’m free to skip classes on Friday.” 

“Good for you.”

“Uh… Nanase-san?” 

“Hmm?” 

“Is— Is it okay to ask for your number?” mumbled Makoto. “Just in case I need more signatures.” 

“Sure.” Giving him a knowing smile, Nanase-san asked for his phone. 

A look of surprise flashed across Makoto’s face. “Your hand…” 

“Oh this.” Nanase-san waved his bandaged hand dismissively. “I burned myself in class. It’s nothing. I’m not sure if I told you last time, but I’m from the Culinary Arts Department.” 

“Oh.” 

Guilt crushed Makoto’s chest for talking about himself the whole time they hung out. He didn’t even ask about Nanase-san’s major. He just assumed he was an arts major from the way he looked.

However, he felt like pushing his luck so he asked for Nanase-san’s social media accounts as well. 

“To be honest, I don’t really use my phone much,” said Nanase-san after adding himself on Makoto’s accounts. “Same with social media. It feels _ sooo _ much better staying invisible.”

“You hate humans that much, huh?”

“Fish are better.”

Makoto laughed. “I bet.” 

“Rin actually made all of my social media accounts. To prove I exist,” said Nanase-san. “But I rarely post anything.” 

A rush of accomplishment filled Makoto as he was able to scroll through Nanase-san’s previously-inaccessible Instagram profile. It only had around 20 photos of cats, beaches… and was that grilled mackerel?

“Hey, this is so cute!” Makoto showed Nanase-san the picture of a 3d latte art of Gudetama. 

“Thanks, I made it,” replied Nanase-san. 

“No way!” 

“I work part-time at a café that does 3d latte art. Do you like coffee?” 

“I do! I’ll drop by one time.” 

“Looking forward to it,” said Nanase-san, a hint of a smile across his lips. “Hey, it’s getting dark. You wanna get out of here?” 

“Sure.” 

Vivid orange and purple hues swept across the sky, casting shadows across the rooftop. Makoto definitely didn’t want to be left behind if the rooftop was really haunted. 

He didn’t care where they were going. He was contented following Nanase-san wherever he wanted, looking forward to talk about weird and random things that only the two of them talked about. It didn’t matter where they went because he was sure they would end up laughing and having a good time. 

Walking beside Nanase-san, Makoto realised he didn’t need to skip classes anymore because the two of them could hang out like this after their lectures. 


	2. dunk your chips in my coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nanase-san put his chin on his hand, thinking. His right hand was still bandaged. Makoto’s chest ached as he felt the urge to reach for it. He wanted to hold Nanase-san’s hand, to wrap his arms around him, and maybe brush his fingertips across his lips. But he couldn’t. He shouldn’t. Because it would ruin this friendship and he couldn’t afford to lose this precious person.

“Nanase-senpai!” 

The breakroom conversation came to a halt as Haruka’s new  _ kouhai, _ Mi-chan, barged in with such urgency. She was looking at the floor with her fists curled into tight balls, her cheeks deep red. “A c-customer a-asked for an obscene foam design and r-requested y-you to make it.”

Haruka stood up and smoothened out his apron. “It’s okay Mi-chan, I got it.” 

“But— But you might get in trouble when our manager finds out!” said Mi-chan, her eyes wide with worry. 

“He’s making out with his girlfriend at the back. He wouldn’t know.” Haruka gave her a reassuring smile. Their manager was an absent-minded, sleeps-at-work kind of guy who depended on Haruka, the oldest and most-experienced of his staff. 

Haruka had worked as a barista long enough to encounter different types of rude customers. He had nicknames for the notorious ones: Where’s The Coffee I Ordered Two Seconds Ago, I’d Like To Change My Order 32 Times, and I Want A 3D Dick In My Latte Please. They didn’t bother him much because he liked being a 3d latte artist. Making fragile sculptures out of milk foam was soothing and even for only three days a week, it helped him wind down from his frenetic culinary classes. Seeing the customers smile was worth all the hours he’d spent training himself to copy hundreds of images by hand. 

He scanned the tables and confirmed his suspicions as Rin waved from the left corner. 

“Rin, you rotten dick,” he muttered under his breath and got to work. 

After he sculpted a froth penis that popped out of the cup, he wrote ‘suck it’ on the edge using melted chocolate. He removed his apron and delivered the special coffee to their precious customer. Mi-chan and another colleague who were manning the counter watched him nervously. 

“Here you are,  _ Sir, _ ” said Haruka, setting the cup on Rin’s table. 

Rin took a moment to examine his coffee before stifling his laughter. “Aww you really made it! This is priceless, Haru!” 

“What do you want?” Haruka sat opposite him, crossing his arms and leaning back. He was still on break so he was allowed to chat. 

Pretending to be offended, Rin stabbed the foam dick with his spoon. “Am I not allowed to visit my best friend at work?” 

“Don’t tell me you came here just to terrify my  _ kouhai. _ ” 

“Ah, I’m sorry about that…” 

“You don’t normally come here on Wednesdays, in between classes and swim practice. I know you and Yamazaki would rather do disgusting things in your locker room,” said Haruka. “So you’re here to annoy me.”

“Oh Haru, how you wound me,” teased Rin, taking a bite of the foam and sipping his coffee. 

Haruka huffed out his impatience.

A greedy look crossed Rin’s face, his sharp teeth bared and gleaming. “So… you and Tachibana, huh?”

“I knew it.” 

“He asked for your number yesterday and I didn't give it, of course,” said Rin. “Heaven knows how many cocks you’ve had this week.” 

“More than you’ve had your entire life, for sure.” Haruka stuck his tongue out. “It’s nothing like that though. I just helped him fake his dad’s signature, that’s all.” 

“Wow, I wouldn’t have guessed he has that side to him,” said Rin, whistling in amusement. “So you’re defiling good university boys now, huh? Do you know how many girls in our department have been dying to ask him out but couldn’t because he’s so elusive?” 

“Well it’s not my fault he chooses to hang out with me.” 

Rin searched his face and flashed a smile that said  _ checkmate.  _ “I knew it, you like him. He’s  _ sooo _ your type!” 

Haruka raised an eyebrow. “I don’t have a type.”

“Uh tell that to the string of lumbering, protein shake-chugging bros you’ve fucked since high school.” 

“Is that what you think of Tachibana?” 

“Stop twisting my words!” 

“They just came out of your mouth.” 

Rin’s phone chimed and he fished it out of his pocket. “Whatever. Hey, you should come with me and Sousuke for brunch again some time.” 

“Sure, but if you two spoon-feed each other in front of me again, I swear I’m gonna puke,” grumbled Haruka. 

He, Rin, and Sousuke shared a passion for swimming, which had brought them together in primary school. While Rin and Haruka became best friends, Rin and Sousuke ended up being lovers. Haruka and Sousuke, on the other hand, had been in this cold impasse for years. Apart from swimming, Rin was the only one that connected them. He’d been tirelessly coaxing them into being buddies, but it wasn’t happening any time soon. 

Rin finished his coffee and grabbed his sports bag. “You should find someone to spoon-feed you too, it’s fun. Give me updates on Tachibana.” He winked. “Thanks for the coffee! I’ll drop by again soon!” 

“Bye, asshole.” 

He peered outside the window, watching Rin head back to the campus. Someone across the street smiled and waved at him. It took a second for Haruka to remember him— he was the guy he kissed at the back of Mori Art Museum last week. He waved back. The guy was an indie film producer or an architect; Haruka couldn’t remember, not even his name. 

If there was one social activity Haruka enjoyed, it was meeting random guys to kiss and sleep with later. He loved the charade that came with it: the talking, the laughing, and the flirting. He could string a few words and earn a kiss or a grope or a slap in the ass. A breathy  _ yes  _ could lead him to a nondescript hotel with generic white sheets and a bouncy mattress. When the mood struck, they would do it against the wall or on the floor.

He liked feeling and touching different body types. Bulky and skinny and soft. He liked the different ways they held and fucked him, sometimes slowly and delicately, like he was made of glass. Sometimes hard and rough like they wanted to tear him into half. 

They could familiarise themselves with every inch of his skin, which angle could make him moan more, but none of them knew Nanase Haruka at all. He went out with some of them for a couple of times, some only once. None of them were the ‘spoon-feeding’ kind, but he didn’t mind because he was having fun. 

He cleared Rin’s table and went back behind the counter to make more coffee for the rest of his shift. A few minutes before it ended, a classmate popped in. 

“Nanase!” 

“Hello, Fujimoto,” he greeted, setting a plain latte on his classmate’s table. 

“Hey, have you finished the essay for Food Safety and Sanitation?” Fujimoto thanked him for bringing his drink. “I still can’t believe we had to read two full chapters for it! That’s crazy.” 

“It is,” he agreed. “I turned it in yesterday to get it over with, haha.” 

Fujimoto’s face brightened with admiration. “As expected from Nanase. You’re a legend!” 

Haruka bowed his head. “Ah, not really.” 

“The others and I are having Swiss wine in Ginza tonight. Wanna join us?” 

Haruka thought about the knives he had to sharpen and many other class-related things he had to do at home. He could wake up early tomorrow and do all of them after swimming in his apartment’s pool. 

“Sure!” 

* * *

Nanase-san was everywhere Makoto went. He was the silence that accompanied him all day, the blankness of his phone screen. He was the empty chair next to him in the cafeteria as he got some post-lecture snacks with Asahi and Kisumi. 

While his two friends talked about something Makoto tuned out minutes ago, his mind was on a rooftop not too far away. He was looking at pastel-coloured sunsets and talking about nothing with Nanase-san. 

It wasn’t like he disliked hanging out with Asahi and Kisumi. In fact, they were two of the few people he considered real university friends, and not acquaintances-camouflaged-as-friends. Like most students in the business department, they came from old money. Asahi’s family owned a chain of luxury restaurants across the country and abroad, while Kisumi’s family owned an international real estate corporation. However, their family businesses weren’t the only things that held them together. The three of them genuinely shared normal interests like foreign films, live music, and vintage manga, and they would regularly get post-lecture snacks at the cafeteria to talk about them. 

Makoto could be hanging out with Nanase-san on the rooftop again, but both of them had part-time jobs. Nanase-san mentioned he worked at a café, and Makoto tutored kids including Kisumi’s little brother, Hayato. Luckily, he and Nanase-san had part-time jobs on the same days so they could hang out the rest of the week. 

Makoto jumped at the shrill sound of his ringtone. A bird fluttered inside his ribcage when he saw who sent the message. Curious, Asahi and Kisumi peered at his phone screen. 

Asahi gasped. “Nanase Haruka? Like…  _ Nanase Haruka? _ ” 

“Wow, are you hanging out with him?” Kisumi’s eyes were wide and gleaming with interest.

Makoto blinked. “You know him?”

“Of course we do!” exclaimed Asahi. 

“They say he’s really good in the sack.” Kisumi wiggled his eyebrows. 

The fluttering bird in Makoto’s ribcage was shot dead and fell to his feet. “Says who?” 

Asahi and Kisumi looked at each other. “Everyone.”

“You’ve really been living under a rock, haven’t you?” Kisumi chuckled. 

“Kisumi tried to get picked up by him on our first year but Nanase hated him.” 

“He thought I was asking for a kiss when I said my name. What a wasted opportunity!” 

Something heavy was ploughing and twisting Makoto’s insides. A moment of paranoia made him wonder how many people in the cafeteria had slept with Nanase-san. Did they meet him on the Horticulture Department rooftop too? Play video games and drink and eat until their stomachs hurt? Sit by Tokyo Bay and gaze at the lights and the skyscrapers until midnight? 

He took a deep breath and told himself to let it go. He had no right to feel this way. Whoever Nanase-san spent time with was none of his business at all. 

“Hey, how are your tutoring classes going?” asked Kisumi. “Hayato told me he likes math now because Tachibana-sensei teaches him.”

“Aw that’s so cute!” replied Asahi. “‘Tachibana-sensei’ has a good ring to it!”

Makoto’s cheeks burned. He checked the time on his watch and hurriedly slung his backpack on his shoulder. “That’s enough, guys. I have to go.”

“Okay, have fun!” 

“Do your best, Tachibana-sensei!” 

Makoto walked towards the door and waved without looking back to hide his flushed face. 

* * *

The following day, Makoto went to the rooftop with a heavy feeling in his chest because of his poor performance in class. All the studying he’d done for a recitation class in Business Law flew out the window when his name was called and he blurted out nonsense in circles. Remembering it made him want to throw up. 

“Is something wrong?” asked Nanase-san.

Makoto wanted to tell him but he didn’t want to sound like a loser. Then, he thought of his other friends and realised he’d rather not tell them. 

“I messed up in a recitation class…” 

Nanase-san sat and listened to him, asking questions once in a while. Electric current prickled under Makoto’s skin as he met Nanase-san’s gaze and saw his smooth hair swaying in the wind. How could he look so cool in a plain white shirt and a blue hoodie? 

“That’s tough, buddy,” said Nanase-san. “I had an embarrassing experience in class too. Yesterday, we were making paella and I attempted to replace fish stock with fish sauce. My paella tasted like a bowl of salt. It smelled so horrible and made everyone angry, but it was too late.” He shrugged and grinned, catapulting Makoto’s heart to outer space. “I guess this week is Shitty School Week.” 

“I should write that on my calendar,” replied Makoto. 

“Good idea, I’ll do that too.” 

Makoto didn’t realise he was smiling until Nanase-san grinned wider. 

If he was talking to his other friends, they would have slung their arms around his shoulder and forced him to laugh it off. It would have worked if it happened a month ago, but it was still a fresh wound and he’d rather lie on the ground for a while than laugh and run around with his friends. 

For the first time, someone lay on the ground with him. Nanase-san always seemed to know how to make him feel better. Maybe he was the friend Makoto needed all these years. 

Nobody had paid him so much attention before. Makoto basked in every moment, like whenever Nanase-san looked at him with those big, inquisitive eyes and listened to all his ramblings. 

Then he remembered what Asahi and Kisumi told him. His brain conjured images of Nanase-san laughing and kissing strangers and hanging out somewhere Makoto hadn’t been before. The ploughing and twisting feeling was back. He reprimanded himself for being selfish. It wasn’t Nanase-san’s fault that he was desirable and that a lot of people wanted to be intimate with him. Makoto should be contented Nanase-san chose to spend time with him. 

“Let’s go somewhere,” announced Makoto. 

“Where do you want to go?” asked Nanase-san.

“Anywhere’s fine.”

Nanase-san put his chin on his hand, thinking. His right hand was still bandaged. Makoto’s chest ached as he felt the urge to reach for it. He wanted to hold Nanase-san’s hand, to wrap his arms around him, and maybe brush his fingertips across his lips. But he couldn’t. He shouldn’t. Because it would ruin this friendship and he couldn’t afford to lose this precious person. 

“Do you like live music?” 

“Yeah, actually.” 

“Good.” Nanase-san stood up and straightened his hoodie. “C’mon, let’s get shit-faced together.”

* * *

At around ten the next morning, Rin sat in a diner booth with Sousuke, Haru, and Tachibana. None of them talked while they waited for the food. His boyfriend Sousuke was a morning person, but he disliked small talk. Across them, Haru and Tachibana looked like they just rolled out of their beds, put on a pair of sunglasses, and rushed to the diner. Rin’s questions itched in his head, but the two all-nighters would probably only start talking once their food arrived. 

He took a bag of chips from his backpack. 

“Calbee!” Haru gasped and seized the bag of chips from him. He tore it open like a five-year-old unwrapping a Christmas present. 

Beside Rin, Sousuke was giving Haru a stink eye, but he didn’t say anything. 

“O…kay… You’re welcome…” said Rin, half-laughing. “What did you two do last night?”

“Went to Shimokitazawa.” Haru shoved a handful of chips in his mouth and offered some to Tachibana. “Checked out the night market, looked at vintage trinkets, made Tachibana try on some bohemian clothes. That was really cute.”

Tachibana shrunk a little, his face suddenly pinkish. “We listened to live music and drank a lot of  _ umeshu  _ all night.” 

“That sounds fun! I like Shimokitazawa,” said Rin. “I bet you stayed there until sunrise.” 

“We did.” Tachibana scratched his head. 

“I literally went home, showered, and took the train here,” replied Haru, yawning. 

Their food finally arrived. Rin and Sousuke got their usual grilled cheese. The diner had a new breakfast juice menu so Rin tried the beetroot and kiwi juice. 

“You wanna try?” He asked Sousuke, and his boyfriend sipped on his straw. 

Usually, Haru would make a face and say how gross they were, but he was too busy stuffing his face with pancakes and bacon. Tachibana matched his pace, and the two of them shovelled food like they hadn’t eaten in months, their cheeks ballooning like they were chipmunks. 

“Yamazaki-san, I heard you’re from the Culinary Arts Department too,” said Tachibana. He must have noticed Sousuke said very little since they sat in the booth. 

While he and Rin chatted about upcoming requirements, Sousuke and Haru hadn’t said a word to each other. 

“Yes,” replied Sousuke. “I’m in my third year.” 

“He and Haru share a lot of classes together,” said Rin, grinning. “Right, Haru?” 

Haru grunted, forking a huge piece of pancake from Tachibana’s plate. 

“I see,” said Tachibana, stealing a strip of bacon from Haru’s plate. 

Haru nudged Tachibana. “Hey, try this! Dunk your chips in my coffee!” 

Tachibana did as he was told and his eyes widened with surprise. “Mmm it’s good!” 

Rin watched the two of them. He looked at Sousuke who was also observing Haru and Tachibana. He squeezed his boyfriend’s hand under the table. 

“You two are so weird,” Rin said, lips curling in amusement. 

Haru and Tachibana said nothing, too busy demolishing each other’s stacks of pancakes. 

Maybe Rin could invite them again to brunch next week, the week after it, and the week after it until it became a regular thing between the four of them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, please let me know what you think! Thank you for reading. See you next update! :D


	3. we could hold hands for a pool length underwater

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Closing his eyes, a rush of thoughts inevitably crashed into Makoto: Haruka had a lot of friends. They would go to cool places and do fun things together. Meanwhile, Makoto was a boring recluse who couldn’t even cook.
> 
> “Why do you hang out with me?” 
> 
> Haruka gazed at the arched ceiling. Silence chimed. “You don’t ask for anything from me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone will be addressed by their first names from now on and Haru will be called ‘Haruka’ despite the POV shifts. Idk, I just prefer it over ‘Haru’. I hope you enjoy the update! :)

When Makoto accepted Haruka’s invitation to his home, he didn’t except it to be in a high-rise apartment in Minato. As Haruka led him inside, Makoto tried his hardest to keep his mouth from hanging open at the panoramic view of skyscrapers and Tokyo Tower. 

Haruka put his shoes on the rack next to the door. “Make yourself comfortable.”

Haruka had offered his place when Makoto had said he’d needed to study somewhere quiet because Nagisa had been practicing his theatrics at home. June was just around the corner. Having paperwork to complete and exams to pass before the summer break, everyone at the university was on edge. 

Knowing it was his best (only) option, Makoto hopped onto Haruka’s Lexus and together they went to his apartment. 

“Thanks again for letting me study here, Haru.”

“Don’t worry about it.” 

He and Haruka had started calling each other by their first names. It was only natural since the two of them had been hanging out for weeks already (Makoto was sure he’d explored more wards in three weeks than he had in the three years he lived in Tokyo). If he was a puppy, his tail would surely wag in excitement each time Haruka called him ‘Makoto’. The novelty of using Haruka’s preferred name— its sound rolling in Makoto’s tongue smoothly: _ Haru, Haru, Haru HaruHaruHaruHaru _— sparked thrill all over his body. 

“Mizuki, I’m home!” 

A cat with shiny black fur and bright green eyes ran towards Haruka. He cradled her in his arms and kissed her face. 

“Makoto, this is my baby, Mizuki. I found her in a box during a storm when she was still a kitten.” 

“I have cats at home too! I found both of them on the streets,” answered Makoto. “I probably should stop bringing cute cats home, haha!” 

“Who takes care of them when you’re out?” 

“My roommates Nagisa and Rei.”

“That’s nice. An old couple who live next door take care of Mizuki when I’m on short trips. I also have an automatic cat feeder for when I’m gone during the day.” He put Mizuki down. “I’ll go make some coffee.”

Not knowing what to do with himself, Makoto looked at the pictures lining the bookshelves in the living room. He gestured to them when Haruka returned with two mugs of coffee. “These pictures look lovely.”

“Rin and his mom decorated this place when they helped me move for university. I haven’t changed anything since then.” 

Makoto looked closely at the framed photos. Despite being taken at different ages and places, Haruka consistently avoided smiling or looking at the camera. He was always surrounded by family and friends, but none of the other kids looked like him. Was he an only child? 

He picked up a framed photo of a young, good-looking couple holding Haruka as a baby, who was wearing a hat and had round and chubby cheeks. They were sitting on the sand, the calm sea behind them. “Are these your parents?”

“Yeah.” 

The young couple had dark hair that contrasted their fair skin. The man had a serious expression on his face that Makoto could see on Haruka occasionally. The smiling woman was stunningly beautiful and had blue eyes that Haruka inherited. Makoto felt like he’d seen her before, but maybe it was the family resemblance. 

“Your mom’s really beautiful!” He couldn’t help but blurt out. He studied her other pictures and found more similarities she shared with Haruka. Then, he gasped as he realised something. “Hey, isn’t this— Is your mom Mizuno Fumiko?” 

Haruka gave him a lazy nod. 

“Oh my god, my mom loves her movies! Wow, it must be crazy to have a celebrity mom,” said Makoto, still trying to wrap his head around this new revelation. “How are your parents as… you know… parents?” 

“Normal.” Haruka shrugged. “They weren’t really around much while I was growing up. My grandmother— my mom’s mom— raised me. I used to live with her until she passed away when I was in middle school.” 

“Oh. I’m sorry, Haru.” 

“It’s fine. Come, I’ll show you my room.” 

Makoto’s heart pounded as he crossed the threshold. _ I’m in Nanase Haruka’s bedroom I’m in Nanase Haruka’s bedroom I’m in Nanase Haruka’s bedroom I’m in Nanase Haruka’s bedr— _

Haruka placed his mug on the bedside table. “You can use the desk, I’m gonna sit on the bed.”

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah, you need it more than I do.” 

Not wanting to argue, Makoto put his bag on the floor and took out his books. Haruka’s desk was tidy, spacious, and well-organised. Sitting there made Makoto feel productive already. Watercolour paintings of Mizuki were attached to the wall, her dark fur contrasting against the blast of colours in the background. 

Behind him, Haruka pulled his shirt overhead and kicked off his jeans. “That’s better. You don’t mind, do you?”

“I-It’s okay, my housemates and I lounge around the house half-naked all the time.” Makoto looked at his book. He caught a glimpse of Haruka’s body before he averted his gaze— a lean figure with tight muscles, exactly like how he imagined it. His thighs were inked with colours, but the moment was too short for Makoto to recognise the tattoo design. He would surely think about it for a while. 

Haruka flopped onto the bed wearing only his boxer-briefs. He sat with crossed legs and laid out his books and papers in front of him. Makoto turned to his own notes, his ears heating up as he willed himself to concentrate on marketing theories and Japan’s foreign economic relations. 

Hours rolled by in silence. Makoto wondered how productive Haruka was because he spent most of his time swatting inappropriate thoughts away. He wanted to crawl into the bed and run his fingers across Haruka’s skin to feel its smoothness. He wanted to bury his nose in his hair and on the curve of his neck, to inhale the rain scent he always wore. He wanted to wrap his arms around him and feel his warmth all night. 

Haruka pulled him out of his head and dragged him to the kitchen. “Let’s make shrimp pasta for dinner.” 

Embarrassment dragged Makoto into a crater. “I-I don’t know how to cook.” 

“It’s something quick and simple. Even primary school students can do it.” Haruka gathered the ingredients and gave the garlic and herbs to Makoto.

“Now that’s something I can do.” He took the knife from his host. His chest swelled with pride as he emerged unscathed, given how sharp Haruka’s knife was (it was probably the sharpest knife he ever held in his entire life). 

Makoto never attempted to cook by himself because he was hopeless in the kitchen. Cooking was more of a chore to him and he always managed to escape because he had better things to do like studying, looking after his siblings, or hanging out with his hometown friends. But Haruka was kind enough to let him study in his apartment and the least he could do was slice the ingredients. 

They chatted idly while Haruka seasoned the shrimp in the pan. Makoto set the table and after a while, the pasta was ready. He ate sighing and praising Haruka about how delicious it was. 

“You sneaked in some unicorn tears in this, didn't you? That’s why it’s so good,” he said after two helpings. 

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Haruka smirked. “Just a special potion, maybe.” 

Makoto insisted on clearing the table and washing the dishes. Haruka sat on the counter, yawning and stretching his arms overhead.

“Hey, you wanna go for a swim? There’s a pool downstairs.”

“I— uh— I didn’t really bring a change of clothes.” 

“It’s alright. I like wearing loose outfits— we’ll find something that fits you.” 

“If you’re sure.” 

After Makoto finished washing the dishes, Haruka grabbed some towels and a change of clothes for the both of them. Makoto was slipping into Haruka’s biggest pair of jammers when this thought crossed his mind: never in his wildest dreams did he foresee this happening. His ears heated up and he was paralysed, the moment sinking in. He could only take little steps as the tightness restricted his movements, but he couldn’t bring himself to complain and refuse Haruka’s invitation to the pool. 

“There’s actually another one on the rooftop,” Haruka said while the two of them headed to the indoor pool. “You can watch the sky while swimming, but let’s swim there next time when the weather is warmer.” 

Makoto’s heart raced at the idea of watching the night sky with Haruka while floating on his back._ Next time. _ He followed Haruka’s lead, only speaking when they entered a deserted, dimly-lit corridor. “Isn’t it closed already?” 

“It’s fine.”

“Are you sure?” 

“Positive.”

They were greeted by a doorman in pristine uniform, who bowed low. “I see you brought a friend today, young master.” 

“Yeah, he’s from university.” 

The doorman smiled and tapped a card to the scanner on the wall, letting them in. “Enjoy.” 

Haruka and Makoto thanked him before entering. The sound of their footsteps resounded across the poolside.

“You own this building, don’t you?” asked Makoto. 

“My father does.” Haruka said impatiently, pulling his shirt overhead in a flash. “Do you want to swim or not?”

“I do!” 

“Then let’s go!” 

Makoto jumped into the water and made a big splash after Haruka. The gentle warmth embraced him, spreading thrill across his body. When was the last time he went swimming? 

He mimicked Haruka’s front crawl and swam beside him to the edge of the pool. He inhaled a lungful of air before diving in again. 

Nanase Haruka. Nanase Property Group, one of the major property developers in Japan. 

How come he didn’t realise Haruka’s family background sooner? Well… It wasn't like they talked about their families when they hung out. Did it matter? When did he care about those things? He remembered the ‘spiders’ in his department— people who thrived on networking and knowing who was who in the business world, building relationships on mutualism. 

They reached the other end of the pool. Haruka must have had noticed his bothered expression when they resurfaced. “What’s the matter?” 

“Nothing…” Makoto waded in the waist-length water, keeping a short distance from Haruka. “It just— we’ve been hanging out for a while now and I didn’t even bother to ask you more about yourself. I don’t know…”

“Your family owns the leading furniture company in the country and this is the first time I’m bringing it up since we met. It’s no big deal. Besides, it’s not like we’re gonna be business partners one day.” Haruka gave him a second look. “You won’t make a business proposal to me in the future, right?” 

“Of course not!”

“Good to know. Now, let’s swim,” demanded Haruka, sending him a massive wave of water. 

Makoto gasped in surprise. He coughed and coughed and whipped the hair out of his eyes. Once he recovered, he slapped a great tide to his friend’s direction. “Hey!” 

They swam together from one end of the pool to the other. Excitement filled Makoto as they swam lap after lap. He stretched his limbs and kicked hard to match Haruka’s speed, but he was unbelievably fast. 

Fatigue caught up with Makoto after two more laps. He paddled to one corner and let his heartbeat slow down, deeply breathing in and out. He kept his eyes on his friend who was swimming away from him. 

Haruka moved his arms and kicked his legs with grace that Makoto had never seen in anyone. He dove in and out of the surface with a smooth rhythm that was almost hypnotic, as if he were one with the water. 

Looking at Haruka’s face, Makoto had never seen him happier. His chest burst with admiration. He wanted to compliment Haruka’s extraordinary swimming but fear and shame got the better of him. 

“Do you swim a lot?” Makoto asked as Haruka floated to his side. 

“Every day.” 

“You love swimming that much?”

“I’ve loved it since I can remember. It helps me connect with the water.” Haruka gazed at the water longingly. He cupped his hands and watched drops trickle onto the surface. “The water is alive and nurturing and violent at the same time, but it favours anyone who connects with it.” 

Despite being unable to fully comprehend his words, Makoto felt compelled by Haruka’s passion for the water. 

“Why don’t you join the swim team? Rin’s Vice-Captain, isn’t he?” 

Haruka looked away. “Can’t be bothered.” 

“I was in my school’s swimming team from primary to high school,” shared Makoto.

Haruka’s eyes brightened. “What did you swim?” 

“Backstroke. It was the only stroke I was comfortable with.” He inhaled a big breath. “I used to be scared of the water when I was a child. Something horrible happened, you see, but swimming backstroke helped me overcome my fear. Eventually, I grew to enjoy swimming and I loved it even more when it helped me make friends. But competitions got too tough so I stopped.” 

“I feel you. Rin, Yamazaki, and I… We were also in our school’s swim team from primary to high school. We used say we’d swim in the Olympics together, but life happened and we all quit. Well, Rin’s still in the swimming team, but he’ll stop after university to take over their family business. Yamazaki had to stop because of a shoulder injury and he focused on culinary school instead.”

“How about you?” asked Makoto. “Why did you stop?”

For a moment, only ripples resonated across the pool. Haruka was looking at the water like he was having a deep and silent conversation with it. Makoto regretted asking and he was about to take the question back when Haruka replied, “Because it got in the way.” 

“Of what?”

“Of freedom.” That was all Haruka said before swimming away. 

Confusion swept over Makoto but he didn’t press further. 

He floated on his back and listened to the quiet waves caused by Haruka’s movements, feeling time slow down. Haruka swam to his side and floated on his back too. 

“Haru?” 

“Hmm?”

Closing his eyes, a rush of thoughts inevitably crashed into him: Haruka had a lot of friends. They would go to cool places and do fun things together. Meanwhile, Makoto was a boring recluse who couldn’t even cook. 

“Why do you hang out with me?” 

Haruka gazed at the arched ceiling. Silence chimed. “You don’t ask for anything from me.” 

Guilt trampled on Makoto as he thought about the things he wanted to do to Haruka. _ No, I want a lot of things from you. _ He wanted to argue, but he shut his mouth and accepted Haruka’s answer. 

“Race you to the other side?” invited Haruka. 

“I won’t lose!” exclaimed Makoto. 

They leaned against the tiled wall and took their marks. “Ready? Go!” 

Together, they kicked and propelled forward with all their might. 

Haruka was in the lead during the first half, but Makoto pushed forward until he was a couple of inches ahead. His insides tingled when he tapped the tiled wall before Haruka.

“I lost!” Haruka slammed his arms against the water in mock frustration. 

Makoto laughed his heart out, the sound reverberating around the pool walls. “Well, you better try harder next time.”

Deep down, he knew Haruka let him win, but he indulged in his victory all the same. He grinned and sent big waves to Haruka’s direction until they were both a laughing mess. It was too late when Makoto realised Haruka dove under and grabbed his legs. He slipped underwater before he could even react and Haruka’s laughter rang in his ears. 

“You!” He exclaimed, chasing Haruka and seizing his arms.

Haruka flailed, tickling Makoto on his sides to slip away from his grasp. 

They dove in together, whirling and gliding and drifting freely. Makoto moved his body to the rhythm of the waves, calm and uninhibited. The water stirred old and forgotten emotions in his chest. Once again, warmth and brightness flooded his entire being. He hadn’t felt so alive in such a long time. 

Staying underwater, he floated on top of Haruka and stretched out his arms. Taking Makoto’s hands, Haruka pulled himself up so they were face to face. They smiled and bubbles rose to the surface. 

Makoto gazed at Haruka. He watched his face catch the rays of light from the surface and his hair drift like clouds of spilled ink. His eyes shone brighter and they studied Makoto, looking at him with the same fondness they had for the water earlier. 

Everything was so surreal: his awakened love for swimming, the aliveness in his chest, their closeness. Finding himself unable to hold back anymore, Makoto leaned in for a kiss. Haruka immediately responded, pressing his wet and smooth lips against Makoto’s. He wrapped his arms around Makoto’s neck and Makoto embraced him tightly. 

They lingered like that for a moment, only breaking away to rise to the surface together.

Breathing in deeply, Haruka smiled, blowing away Makoto’s nervousness. 

The kiss only lasted for a moment, but it had already etched its place in Makoto’s heart and made a home out of it. 

* * *

“Makoto and I went swimming last night,” Haruka told Rin as they went for a coffee run after classes. 

So that explained the spring in his step. Rin thought his bursting energy was both amusing and annoying. 

“I lent him my clothes and they were all skin-tight on him, he was so cute!” 

“Wait, you went swimming at your place?” asked Rin. As far as he knew, his best friend never brought his flings to a pool.

“Yeah, dummy. Where else will I swim?” 

“I don’t know, at a hotel? The places where you usually take your fuck buddies?” 

Haruka rolled his eyes. “I told you, we’re just hanging out.” 

“Whatever you have to tell yourself.” Rin shrugged. 

“Did you know that he used to swim too?” asked Haruka. 

“That’s news to me… although he does have the build. What did he swim?” 

“Backstroke. He said something bad happened when he was younger, and swimming backstroke helped him overcome his fear of water…” 

Rin listened to Haruka talk about swimming as they walked across the university grounds. If he was honest, he still didn’t know how Haruka felt about swimming ever since he quit months before finishing high school. He would never forget the day his best friend declared it. Amidst all the chaos of fierce competitions, suffocating expectations, and scouting commotions, Haruka had broken his silence. 

_ I quit swimming. _

His voice had been low, his head bent down. The grim, foreboding look on his face had shoved Rin into an endless pit of fear and despair. _ This is it, your dreams are finally coming true! Why can’t you see how lucky you are? _He had wanted to yell and shake him, but he had known that nothing could make Haruka change his mind about quitting. 

Rin shrugged, shutting off the series of memories that followed. Even after all these years, he still felt like one of the few survivors of a catastrophic hurricane. 

As time went on, relief had come bit by bit as Haruka had slowly rekindled his love for the water. He might not be swimming competitively anymore, but at least he had found his love again and only recently, he had someone new who shared the same passion. 

“—What are you smiling about?” Haruka looked at him like he’d grown another head. 

“Nothing, I’m just happy you found someone to swim with— _ Ow! _” Rin yelled as Haruka kicked him in the shin.

“Stop saying cheesy shit,” reprimanded Haruka before heading to the Horticulture Department rooftop. 

* * *

Brunch became a weekly affair between Makoto, Haruka, Rin, and Sousuke. They met at the same diner, sat in the same booth, and ordered the same food. That was why apprehension seized Makoto when Haruka hadn’t showed up ten minutes after their meeting time. 

“Where’s Haru?” asked Makoto. 

It wasn’t like Haruka to be late. Was he sick? Makoto regretted not texting him before coming to the diner, but then Haruka rarely used his phone so it was useless to check in on him every now and then. 

“He’s not feeling well,” replied Rin, taking a bite of his grilled cheese. 

“Oh no. Did he catch a cold? I told him to bring an umbrella yesterday.” 

“It’s not like that. He’s… uh… not having a good day,” Rin replied to the table. “He doesn’t want to leave his apartment and see anyone. Don’t worry, it’s normal. We all feel under the weather from time to time. Right, Sousuke?” 

Sousuke nodded. 

“Oh.” 

Makoto’s stomach churned and twisted into knots. Did he upset Haruka? Maybe he shouldn’t have kissed him in the pool… But they had been okay yesterday. They had met at the rooftop and had talked normally and had goofed around like usual. Haruka hadn’t shown signs of discomfort. Or so Makoto had thought. 

Rin sighed. “Don’t make that face. It’s not your fault. If it was, I would have kicked your ass already.”

Makoto set his own worries aside as Rin started talking about the classes they shared, the volume of required readings, and their opinions about their professors. 

Once they were finished, Rin grabbed Sousuke by the collar and kissed him goodbye before his boyfriend went to the Culinary Arts building. Walking with Rin alone brought back the twisting sensation in Makoto’s stomach. 

“Haru told me the two of you went swimming the other night,” said Rin.

“Ah, yeah. He’s _ phenomenal! _ I asked him why he didn’t join the swim team and he said he wasn’t interested. It’s a bit sad because the whole world should see how gifted he is.”

Rin was silent for a moment. “He doesn’t swim with just anyone, you know.” 

“Oh.” Makoto was unsure of what to say. 

“I’m glad he found someone new to swim with.” 

Rin’s words played in Makoto’s head on repeat until classes were over and he got home, but they didn’t fill in the hollowness in his chest. Why was Haruka feeling down? Was it about what happened at the pool? Did he regret it? 

Makoto remembered how Haruka’s hands felt underwater, how their lips touched, and how they held each other. He wanted Rin’s words to reassure him, but his low self-esteem told him that Haruka hated him. 

That night as he lay in bed, he typed unsent messages and stared at the blinking cursor for what seemed like hours. 

**To: Haru (o´∀`o)**

_ do you hate me? _

Makoto wanted to ask but he didn’t want to sound like a desperate child. He deleted it and drafted another message. Delete, draft, delete. It went on and on for another hour until his eyes stung from staring at his phone screen. 

_ Rin said you weren’t feeling well this morning. I hope you’re feeling better now. _

Taking a deep breath, Makoto sent it before he could delete it again. He stared at the ceiling and waited for Haruka’s reply, falling asleep as soon as he closed his tired eyes. 

The first thing he did when he woke up the next day was to grab his phone to see if Haruka replied. His heart surged as he read the message sent at five in the morning:

**From: Haru (o´∀`o)**

_ i spent the day with the water yesterday. i’m feeling a lot better now, thanks for the concern. see you later. _ (cat emoji) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you liked or disliked about this chapter, or what you think will happen next. Or quote the lines that had you shookt idk. Anything you want to say! I love hearing from you guys!
> 
> Btw, rating will change to ‘E’ next chapter. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) See you then!


	4. call me friend but keep me closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The world held its breath when Haruka’s smile turned into a frown.
> 
> “We’re friends, right?” 
> 
> Those words were the needle that popped Makoto’s giant balloon heart. 
> 
> _We’re_ just _friends. Nothing more. _
> 
> “O-Of course!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone! i have materialised out of the ether to bring you the promised Rated E chapter. i hope you enjoy it!!!

Heavy droplets dripped from the Engineering building’s roof where Makoto and Haruka had taken shelter about ten minutes ago. They had been walking along the expansive university grounds when, all at once, the torrential rain poured and soaked them to the bone. Neither of them had an umbrella nor a raincoat so they ran under the nearest roof. 

“Looks like the rain’s not stopping any time soon,” remarked Makoto.

Haruka, who was mesmerised by the falling water, pulled the sleeves of his hoodie. “Should we make a run for it?” 

“We’re already soaked anyway…” Makoto bit his lip. “We can go to my house and get changed. It’s only a few blocks away.” 

“Okay.” 

“Ready? Let’s go!” 

Hugging their backpacks to shield them from the rain, they ran out the main gate. They stopped as the pedestrian light turned red, and they laughed as soon as they caught each other’s gaze. Excitement rushed all over Makoto like he was skydiving. 

It had been a week since he’d kissed Haruka at the pool and nothing had changed between them. They still met at the rooftop, drank until midnight, and ate brunch with Rin and Sousuke. They still talked about everything under the sun except for The Kiss. At first, Haruka’s nonchalance had worried Makoto to the point of sleeplessness, but he decided that if Haruka didn’t express any discomfort about it, then there was nothing to worry about. 

They arrived at Makoto’s house after crossing a couple more blocks. 

“Wow, you’re right about living just across the university.” Haruka took off his soggy shoes and stepped inside.

“My parents picked it so I wouldn’t be late for my classes, haha.” Hearing light footsteps patter against the hardwood floor, Makoto knelt down to greet his cats. “Haru, these are my cats, Aki and Fuyu. Aki and Fuyu, meet Haru.” 

“Oh they’re so cute! Did you name them after seasons because of their fur colour?” 

Makoto laughed sheepishly.  _ The ginger one should be called Aki and the white one should be called Fuyu!  _ “That’s right. It was Nagisa’s idea, actually.” 

“Creative!” Haruka looked around. “Are your roommates here?” 

“No, they mentioned something about going out with the swim team.” 

“Oh yeah, Rin told me yesterday.” 

“Come on, let’s get changed before either of us catches a cold.” 

Makoto showed Haruka to his bedroom with a familiar tugging in his chest. They were in a similar situation last week and— and— he shouldn’t be feeling uneasy in his own house, for heaven’s sake!

“I’m so sorry for the mess!” He hurriedly picked up the clothes and crumpled papers from the floor and dumped them into a corner. 

Haruka chuckled. “There’s still space to walk on, so it’s fine.” 

Makoto rummaged in his drawers for towels and gave one to Haruka. “D-Do you want to take a shower first? The bathroom’s right there.” 

“Sure, thanks,” said Haruka. “Do you have some clothes I can borrow? A shirt and a pair of sweatpants will do.” 

“Y-Yeah, of course!” 

Fire spread across Makoto’s cheeks as he looked for clothes that could fit Haruka. He held his breath until he found a sunshine yellow sweatshirt and an old pair of grey sweatpants. “Here!” 

“Thanks.” 

As soon as the bathroom door closed, Makoto collapsed on the floor. He shut his eyes and hugged his knees. He wanted to scream. To explode. He recalled how, in the movies, the hopeless romantic protagonists would take a moment to scream into their hands before inviting their Big Crush inside their house. He wished he’d done the same. 

After a while, Haruka stepped out of the bathroom with a content smile, his wet hair plastered against his forehead and Makoto’s sweatshirt hanging loosely onto his frame. “Your turn.” 

Makoto went in and took a very quick shower. His breaths sped up at the thought of being naked while Haruka was just on the other side of the wall. When he came out, Haruka was pulling his things out of his backpack. 

“Did your things get wet?”

“Nah, they’re okay.” 

“That’s a relief. I’m always worried about my laptop getting soaked or broken. I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose important school work. I haven’t earned enough to replace—” 

Makoto’s words fled like a flock of birds when he found Haruka suddenly standing so close to him. Memories from the poolside came rushing in and sent shivers down his spine. They hadn’t been as physically close since then… 

He was afraid that if Haruka got closer, he would hear the frantic beating of his heart. 

“Har—?” 

Makoto gasped in surprise the moment Haruka’s lips touched his. Once he recovered, his hands found the back of Haruka’s neck to feel him more. A happy sigh escaped his mouth. 

“Haru…” He panted, pressing his forehead against Haruka’s. Rain tapped lightly against the window. 

They gazed at each other in the half-light before they kissed again, their lips crushing together with more urgency as though they were running out of time. A metallic taste met Makoto’s tongue as he nibbled Haruka’s pierced lip. 

Eyes kept closed, Haruka moaned and held Makoto’s face. “You can touch me.”

Haruka’s voice was soft against Makoto’s ear and it gave him goosebumps.

Makoto’s fingers trembled upon meeting Haruka’s bare skin. Blood rushed to his face and to  _ that place _ between his legs, making him rub his lower half against Haruka. 

He immediately regretted it when Haruka pulled away. He whined. “What’s wrong?” 

“Doesn’t it bother you?” Haruka was giving him an intense, challenging look.

“What?” 

“I’m sure you’ve heard rumours about me sleeping around.” 

“I don’t mind.” 

“For the record, I’m clean.” 

“I trust you.” 

Laughter erupted and almost caused Makoto’s knees to crumble. “Aren’t you eager?” 

Haruka’s smile lingered in his lips as he kissed Makoto once more. It was long and deep, claiming and devouring Makoto and  _ god he tasted so good. _

They touched each other fervently and let their hands rove where they had never been before. Laughed when they almost tripped over Makoto’s books lying on the floor. Their lips only parted so that they could take their shirts off and toss them away. 

Makoto struggled to anchor himself in the moment as soon as they hit the bed. He closed his eyes to feel Haruka’s hard and lean arms surrounding him. He was real, and  _ this _ was happening. 

“Ahh…” 

Makoto’s breath hitched as Haruka left a trail of kisses across his chest, and slowly, painstakingly going further down underneath his belly button. 

Then, he tugged down Makoto’s pyjamas and cupped his stiff cock in his hands. “Wow, you’re big.”

Makoto whimpered in utter embarrassment. His hands flew to his face. “P-Please stop teasing me.” 

“You’re so cute, Makoto.” 

“D-Don’t say that— ahh—  _ Haru… _ ” 

He gripped Haruka’s hair as a warm and wet mouth surrounded his erection. Overcome by this new sensation, he lost his self-control: he moaned and kicked his legs; his eyes rolled to the back of his head. Haruka worked wonders on him until he was ready to burst. 

“Ha—Haru…” He lifted Haruka’s face. “You too. I want to feel you.” 

Makoto lay Haruka down on the mattress and kissed him gently, tasting himself a little. He took his time exploring Haruka’s body. He ran his hands across his smooth skin, placed kisses and nipped at every mole he could find until he reached the tattoos adorning his legs. He’d been curious about them ever since he’d caught a glimpse in Haruka’s room, but it was too dark to make out the images. 

Haruka twitched when Makoto’s lips pressed on his inner thighs. “Hahh…” 

Makoto looked up. “Is this okay?”

“Very okay.” 

Slowly, Makoto’s hands trailed up to his erection, making Haruka moan louder, which he took as an encouragement. He watched with excitement as it grew bigger and harder, and he felt its weight and warmth in his palms. 

Haruka pressed his head back against the pillows, breathing heavily. Makoto liked how he melted from his slightest touch, knowing it was him who made Haruka feel that way. 

“Let’s come together,” said Haruka. He sat up and straddled Makoto’s waist so that they were face-to-face, closer than they had ever been. 

Makoto closed his eyes as they stroked each other, feeling the gentle rhythm and Haruka’s kisses lingering across his skin. They squeezed and fondled until, almost at the same time, they came. 

Wrapping his arms around Haruka’s neck, Makoto gazed at him. Sweat clung to his hair and ribbons of cum splattered across his chest. “We just had a shower, you know.”

“We can take a shower again. Together.” Haruka’s eyelids fluttered as he panted. “Or we can sleep sticky and dirty and wait until tomorrow. Your call.”

Makoto wrinkled his nose. After what they just did, he couldn’t tell if Haruka was joking or not. He kissed the mole on the side of his neck and sucked on it. Haruka caressed his hair and pressed himself closer. They cuddled and kissed while sitting with their legs wide open like a lotus in full bloom. 

“Haru… can I— C-Can I—?”

Haruka fell onto the bed again and consented to whatever Makoto wanted to do with him. 

* * *

“Do you like that?”

“Ahh! Mmh—  _ More. _ ” Haruka pushed his arm against the headboard to meet Makoto’s deep thrusts. 

“Hah— Haru…”

Makoto planted his hands onto the mattress, trying his hardest not to crush Haruka underneath him. He was always worried about hurting his partners when being on top. They seemed so small and fragile compared to him, but Haruka kept encouraging him. _Ahh yes that feels good keep_ _going keep going—_

Makoto paused as he found Haruka studying him, his face unreadable. “What is it? Does it hurt?”

Haruka shook his head. “Can you stand up?” 

“W-What?” 

“Do it standing. Carry me.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Just try it.” 

Fear gripped Makoto. He had never done it before, but if Haruka trusted him enough to ask him, he should at least try. He was surprised when he stood up and found he could carry Haruka incredibly well. His chest was about to explode when Haruka embraced him and wrapped his legs around his torso. He supported Haruka’s hips and thrusted until he couldn’t hold back anymore. 

“Ah, _ fuck!  _ That’s it—! D-Don’t stop, don’t stop!” Haruka moaned as Makoto carried him back to the bed and pounded against him hard and deep. 

He looked so beautiful splayed out like that across Makoto’s bed: his face flushed, his hair tousled, and his lips slick and swollen. Makoto’s brain could short-circuit upon knowing he could mess him up like that. 

Haruka’s cries grew louder as he lifted his leg and moved faster. 

_ “Makoto!” _

He closed his eyes and smiled as he held Haruka tighter. 

* * *

At around two in the morning, they sat on the edge of Makoto’s bed, still stark naked and sharing snacks. After they finished for the third time, Makoto made a quick run to the kitchen and grabbed a bag of cookies to appease their rumbling stomachs. 

“—and in second grade— I still remember this vividly— I thought crayons were edible and tasted like fruits,” said Makoto. “You know, like candies. Yellow would taste like bananas, red like cherries, purple like blueberries. So one time, I snuck out of the classroom with my box of crayons, took a bite, and spewed them out. I didn’t touch my crayons for about a month.” 

Haruka threw his head back, laughing. “What a curious little monkey you were!” 

“I’d liked to think I was a scientist. As I rubbed the awful taste from my tongue, I was like  _ well, enough science experiments for now. _ ” 

“Speaking of weird food experiences—” Haruka swung his legs. “—You know the first time we did it, when you were standing up and carrying me? It’s called  _ ekiben. _ ” 

Makoto almost bit the back of his lip. “Like the  _ bento _ you get at train stations?” 

“The very same.” Haruka smirked. “An old sex friend introduced it to me. We used to watch gay porn together and recreate the acts. That was just how we did it… Until things got weird… So it’s called  _ ekiben _ because the top carries the bottom like how sellers used to carry  _ bento _ boxes at train stations.” 

Red rivers of jealousy coursed through Makoto from head to toe. “How are you always lucky with your sex friends? All I got from mine were  _ terrible _ experiences.”

“Oh really? Do tell.” 

“One time, I met this guy through a dating app. He was from Hokkaido, like me—” 

Haruka gasped. “I’ve always wanted to ask you that! You slip into Hokkaido dialect sometimes.”

“Oh. I— I should be more mindful about speaking then.” 

“No way, I like it when you use Hokkaido dialect! You sound more sincere and charming.” 

Makoto threw the edge of the comforter over his crotch. How could he not get aroused when Haruka talked like that while his knee brushed against Makoto’s thigh? “Anyway…” 

“Yeah, sorry. Go ahead.” 

“So I met this cute guy through a dating app. He said it was his first time in Tokyo so I showed him around. We had dinner and we— you know— ended up at a hotel. We had a lot of fun. We did it for hours and took breaks to talk and laugh at little things. The next morning, we hugged and kissed and made out some more before saying goodbye.” He paused. “Then, when I was at the train station on the way home, I found out he stole all of my money.” 

Haruka’s eyes widened with shock. “No.” 

“I just got paid from my part-time job before we met and none of it was left in my wallet. Luckily, I still had my Suica card so I was able to go home.” 

“That is— uh— That is— Wha— How can a person steal from someone like you?” Haruka blurted out. “I’ll find him and kick his ass!” 

“It’s okay. That was a long time ago.” Makoto shrugged. “It was probably my fault. I shouldn’t have trusted him easily.” 

“What? It’s not your fault! You just wanted to have a good time.” 

Haruka’s rage was making Makoto grow stiff. He tried to cover it with his hands but Haruka already noticed. 

“Well, you’re with me now…” Haruka’s eyes gleamed with lust as he pried Makoto’s hands away. He cupped Makoto’s erection and pushed him against the mattress. “Let me take care of you.” 

Makoto moaned in response and opened his body to Haruka’s hungry kisses. Heat spread from the bottom of his stomach to the tips of his ears. He sighed Haruka’s name as he ran his hands all over his skin. 

Flipping over, Makoto felt a hot, wet tongue prod his entrance. He squirmed and arched his back, realising how sensitive he was to Haruka’s touch. He hid his face behind his hands, embarrassed about Haruka looking at him from this angle. 

“Ha-Haru, you don’t have to…  _ aahhh… _ ” 

Haruka’s tongue explored him until his entrance throbbed and his knees shook. 

Makoto mumbled into the sheets. 

“What’s that?”

“I— I want Haru…”

Soon, fingers replaced the tongue in his entrance and he had to bury his face into the pillows to suppress his ecstatic cries. He supported himself with his hands and his knees, trying not to crumble. 

“Ah…  _ yes… _ ”

Sweat dripped from his forehead as Haruka thrusted deep inside him. A hand pumped his cock at the same time, making it leak with precum. He was so lost in pleasure, his eyes brimmed with tears. 

He didn’t realise how loud he was until Haruka paused, his soft laughter tickling Makoto’s ears. “Ssh, keep it down, Makoto.” 

He felt so weak; he could only nod and mumble  _ sorry _ . 

Haruka sucked harshly on his neck and laid kisses across Makoto’s back before moving again. He pounded and pounded against him until he found the spot that made Makoto see stars. 

“Haahh— Oh god, yes!_ There!_“ 

Makoto balled his fists and cried Haruka’s name against the sheets. 

* * *

“—and that was how Rin and I almost got ran over by a three-wheeled Go Kart.” Haruka giggled and Makoto joined him.

“Well I’m happy you’re still here. Obviously.” Makoto grinned.

They lay across the bed like two big starfishes, chests heaving and eyes heavy with exhaustion. Smiling, Haruka scooted over to use Makoto’s arm as a pillow. He was so close that Makoto could see the little freckles dusting his nose and his cheeks, and could smell his own shampoo in Haruka’s hair. 

Silence rippled across the room. Holding Haruka’s gaze, Makoto reached out to touch his cheek and Haruka pressed his lips onto his hand. 

The world held its breath when Haruka’s smile turned into a frown. 

“We’re friends, right?” 

Those words were the needle that popped Makoto’s giant balloon heart. 

_ We’re  _ just  _ friends. Nothing more. _

“O-Of course!” Gently, he lay Haruka’s head on the bed before grabbing some tissues. He passed the box to Haruka who took some and cleaned himself up. 

His voice was as quiet as the early morning. “I don’t do relationships. I just don’t believe in them, you know?” 

Makoto could feel his gaze burning holes into his back as he sat on the edge of the bed. “Me neither. I mean I used to, but… Relationships?  _ Love?  _ We’re not in fourth grade anymore!” He laughed and Haruka did too, nervously. 

“So are we still hanging out?”

“If you want to.” 

“Okay. Cool.” Haruka lay down with his back turned to Makoto. “Good night.”

“Good night.” 

Sleep refused to visit Makoto. He was aware of everything— the sliver of street lights seeping through the blinds, the sound of Haruka’s breathing, his warmth. Hesitantly, he wrapped an arm around Haruka and entangled their legs until they fitted together like spoons. 

Haruka flinched. “What are you doing?” 

“Cuddling.” Makoto was still latched onto Haruka. “I can’t sleep without cuddling.” 

“…Okay.” 

“You don’t mind?” 

“I usually do when I’m not having sex… But if it helps you fall asleep…” 

“Thanks. Good night.” 

“‘Night.” 

Makoto planted a kiss on Haruka’s neck. Raindrops pattered against the roof as he fell asleep.

* * *

Sunlight poured from the window when Makoto opened his eyes the next morning. Bright yellow rays painted his bedroom walls, spreading near-summertime warmth. He reached across the bed and frowned when he found it cold and empty. 

Where was Haruka? Did he go home already? Did he not want to see Makoto? Did he regret what they did last night? Or was it all just a dream? 

Shaking those gloomy thoughts away, Makoto got dressed and dragged his sore and heavy body to the kitchen. He froze in his tracks when he heard lively chatter. Instead of two voices, there were  _ three _ . 

“Oh you’re awake!” Haruka wore an apron and swanned around the kitchen like it was his own. “Good morning! Have some breakfast.” 

Makoto mumbled a ‘good morning’ to the floor and sat with Nagisa and Rei. 

He wanted to turn into stone and shatter into a million pieces to prevent any discussions about Haruka’s presence in his house. He thought he had already dodged the bullet when he didn’t see his housemates last night as he grabbed some snacks, but there was no escape now that they had already met Haruka. 

“I’ve never seen such beautiful plating!” Rei broke the silence, teary-eyed at his plate of waffles and sliced strawberries as if it was an award-winning painting. 

“The waffle maker has finally been put to use! I’m so happy!” exclaimed Nagisa.  _ It was on sale! _ He said when he bought it on impulse last year, but he never used it because everything he made always turned out to be a disaster. He rose up and hug-attacked Haruka, who shrank and froze in utter surprise. “THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!”

“Nagisa, he doesn’t like hugs!” Makoto immediately pried Nagisa away from Haruka. “I’m so sorry about my housemates, Haru. They don’t meet a lot of people.” 

“It’s okay,” Haruka gave him a reassuring smile as he sat across Makoto. 

“You didn’t tell us you’re dating Rin-chan’s best friend!” said Nagisa. 

Haruka blinked. “Rin… chan…?” 

“He’s the housemate who calls everyone ‘-chan’,” explained Makoto.

“I’ll call you Haru-chan from now on!” 

Haruka’s cheeks darkened. “Okay…” 

The four of them had breakfast together like a newfound mismatched family. Nagisa and Rei praised Haruka’s cooking after every bite and inhaled the waffles in record time. Haruka smiled at Makoto whenever his housemates said something random and amusing. 

“I’m off,” Haruka said after the table was cleared and the dishes were washed. He went out the door wearing the sunshine yellow sweatshirt and old grey sweatpants Makoto lent him. Bright colours suited him and… and… 

_ He’s wearing my clothes!  _ Makoto wanted to fall flat on the floor. “Bye, Haru.” 

Nagisa poked his head outside the door. “You’re welcome to cook breakfast for us any time!” 

Haruka chuckled. “Roger that. See you guys at school!” 

Makoto’s hands went cold and sweaty once they closed the door. He was a defenceless fish about to get eaten by two red-crowned cranes. 

“Rei-chan, do you know how to make  _ sekihan? _ ” Nagisa’s eyes twinkled with delight. “Let’s make some in celebration of Mako-chan getting a boyfriend!” 

“What?! W-We’re just hanging out!” 

“Yeah, on your bed.” Nagisa beamed wider. “We heard.”

Luckily, he was finished eating or else he would have choked and died on the spot. Were they that loud last night? 

Rei pushed his glasses against the bridge of his nose and picked up his phone. “I can ask my mom how to make  _ sekiha— _ ” 

“WAIT! Wait wait wait! There is nothing to celebrate! Nobody’s getting a boyfriend!” 

Nagisa pouted. “But  _ Mako-chaaan! _ You never bring anyone home, so this must mean  _ something. _ ” 

“I— I— W-We’re just friends!” sputtered Makoto. 

“You should keep him. He’s good for you, I can tell,” insisted Nagisa. 

“You even had breakfast with us. You always skip breakfast at home, even on weekends,” Rei pointed out. 

“Th-That’s because I have a lot of schoolwork to do,” said Makoto. 

“But you finished what Haru-chan made for you today,” rebutted Nagisa. “That’s why he’s good for you and you should keep him.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... we are now entering the Friends With Benefits zone. Can you guess which song I referenced for the chapter title? If you guess correctly, you can pretty much predict what's yet to come ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿
> 
> Let me know if you liked the update! I love reading what you guys think. 
> 
> Before I disappear into the ether again, I'd like you to know that I'm on social media. Come say hi on [Tumblr](http://nanases-h.tumblr.com) & [Twitter](https://twitter.com/nanases_h) (it’s a bit lonely there and I’d like to make some friends uwu). We can chat about MH or anything under the sun! 
> 
> I'll see you guys on the next update... whenever it will be ready haha.


	5. just one last time?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haru has a surprise for Makoto :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- SouRin   
\- past HaruSouRin   
\- JEALOUS MAKOHARU  
\- nasty, sexy times by nasty, dirty boys
> 
> in descending order ;)

Only text messages could bring insurmountable excitement to Makoto these days. He jolted in his seat as he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He glanced at his tutee, Hayato, who was diligently answering math questions on his own, before checking the new message. 

**From: Haru (o´∀`o) **

_ i have a surprise for you  _

He typed a quick reply: 

**To: Haru (o´∀`o) **

_ can’t wait. see you later! _

“Sensei?” A small voice chimed in. 

Makoto shoved his phone back inside his pocket. Hayato was looking at him with big, purple eyes. “Hmm? Are you finished?” 

Hayato nodded. 

“That was quick! Let’s see.” 

Scooting over, he checked Hayato’s work. He smiled and complimented the child every time he got the correct answer, and calmly showed him how to solve the questions that he got wrong. 

Hayato had improved drastically since Makoto had started tutoring him. He had used to loathe mathematics; he’d rather watch Youtube videos or press his cheek on the table than learn the perplexing rules of numbers. It had been difficult to work with a child that had little interest in learning, but Makoto had shown him that he could solve the problems that once had puzzled him. Gradually, Hayato had started believing in himself and since then, he had become calmer and more interested in learning. Watching his progress was one of the most rewarding teaching experiences for Makoto. 

Despite occupying himself with math equations, Makoto caught himself checking the time once in a while. Ten more minutes. Seven. Five. Three. One. 

He was packing his things up when Kisumi peeked inside the room. “Makoto? Mom’s asking if you can join us for dinner.” 

Hayato gazed at him expectantly. 

“Ah—” Makoto stiffened. “I—I already made plans with a friend tonight. I’m so sorry. How about next week?” 

“That’s okay. No problem!” replied Kisumi. “Hayato, say goodbye to Makoto-sensei.”

Hayato bowed and smiled. “Thank you for teaching me today, Makoto-sensei! Bye bye!” 

He patted the kid’s head. “Great work today, Hayato. Bye!” 

Upon finding Mrs. Shigino in the living room, he apologised for being unable to join them for dinner. 

“Ah, that’s a shame, but it’s alright.” Mrs. Shigino sipped her tea, the corners of her lips curling up. “I understand how busy college kids are with studying and dating!” 

Makoto laughed sheepishly and scratched his head. 

“Mother, please stop embarrassing Makoto!”

Mrs. Shigino flashed the same smile that Kisumi reserved for teasing. “I was just kidding! Thank you for teaching Hayato. Goodbye, Makoto-kun!” 

He walked to the subway with a spring in his step. _I have a surprise for you, _Haruka’s words whirled in his head. He thought about the nights when they had school work to do but ended up having sex until it was late and one of them had to stay the night. Would they have sex until early morning again? Was that the surprise? 

This newness between them had revived a part of Makoto that had withered a long time ago. He had a sex friend again— someone he could sleep with and share intimacy without jealousy and other ugly feelings that came with commitments. 

He recalled his past relationships, particularly their slow and painful collapse. He’d been dumped quite a few times because he’d let them come too close. They had gotten to know his imperfections, had realised he was not who they had thought he was, and it had driven them away eventually. They had found out he was too much. Too plain, too anxious, too insecure.  _ You love too deeply. _

He owed it to himself not to let the same misfortunes happen again. And so, he started engaging with fuck buddies. They were more convenient. With Haruka, he could have all the intimacy that came with romantic relationships without getting into one. He enjoyed the kissing, the touching, clinging to Haruka’s body when he would come. Unlike all the others, Haruka was giving him the thrill he’d been looking for and more. Makoto wasn’t sure how long they would continue this relationship, but he would savour every second while it lasted. 

The speakers announced the train’s arrival and Makoto whipped his phone out. 

**To: Haru (o´∀`o)**

_ i’m on my way.  _

He hopped on the train that would lead him to Haruka. 

* * *

Makoto blinked. “Is that mine?” 

Haruka stood in the doorway, wearing a familiar-looking beige cardigan layered over a crew-neck shirt. “Oh. Yeah.” 

“You probably have half of my wardrobe now.” Makoto sighed. “I was wondering why my clothes were getting smaller.”

“They’re so comfy, I can’t help but steal them,” purred Haruka. 

“I’m gonna take them back one of these days.” 

“Why don’t you start with this one then? Take it off me.”

“Maybe I will.” Without hesitation, Makoto closed the distance between them with a kiss. Haruka’s mouth was hot and wet and tasted like lemon-lime soda. 

As the kisses became deeper and hands started exploring underneath their shirts, Haruka pulled away a little to whisper, “Bedroom…” 

Makoto nodded and held him tightly, his teeth tugging on Haruka’s bottom lip. 

In public, Haruka would make the first move in his very discreet and entrancing manner that made Makoto’s heart do backflips. It was amazing how he could tie Makoto down with one look. He would close his fingers around Makoto’s wrist and whisper in his low, commanding voice, _ let’s go.  _ Makoto would be taken by surprise, then gripped by self-consciousness. Despite feeling weak in the knees, he would follow Haruka inside the toilet at the end of a deserted hallway, to the back of his car, or wherever they felt like touching each other. 

When they were alone like this, in Haruka’s apartment or in his room, Makoto would take initiative. He would move with ease and confidence— he would pull Haruka close and kiss him deeply,  _ ravenously, _ until his lips were swollen and slick with spit; he would take Haruka’s clothes off, lay him down on the bed, and make him come over and over all through the night.

However, there were still some things that left him hesitant. 

“Y-You put it where?!” Makoto pressed his hands against Haruka’s chest. They were sitting on the bed after carelessly tossing their shirts on the floor, their hair all messed up from making out. 

Haruka dangled his ‘surprise’ in front of Makoto’s face: these brightly-coloured, horrendous toys called urethral beads. “Yesterday, you said you wanted to try something different so I got you these. You’d probably only done vanilla sex in the past and it’s about time we change that.” 

Makoto covered his face with his hands. “Don’t say it so casually!” 

A hand touched his knee. “Just lie down and relax. If it hurts, I’ll stop.”

“O-Okay…” 

Inserting a stick up his pee hole sounded like brutal  _ punishment. _ Did he do something that warranted it? Why Haruka claimed it felt good was beyond him, but he trusted him so he closed his eyes and let Haruka do whatever he wanted. 

Makoto caressed Haruka as he left kisses all over his body. Slim, nimble fingers closed around his cock, stroking it until it swelled and twitched. Haruka’s tongue played with the slit, swirling around it fast and then  _ torturously _ slow. He teased Makoto wonderfully well, he didn’t feel any pain when Haruka inserted the beads. 

Haruka gazed at him. “Are you okay?” 

Makoto croaked, “Yeah.”

And it was true. Apart from the slight pressure, he was fine. His breath came out in short puffs as the beads sank inch by inch until they were all in. 

But they weren’t enough. The mounting pressure made him reach his fingers inside his own entrance and stretch himself. Haruka removed them immediately, replaced them with his own and prodded deep inside Makoto. After Haruka inserted one, two, three fingers, the tingling sensations started blinding him.

“Haru…” His voice cracked with despair. “ _ Haru, _ I need you…” 

Haruka prepared himself quickly and entered him, making him spurt a little. If Makoto didn’t have the beads inside him, he would have burst to completion. 

He propped Makoto’s leg on his shoulder and smirked. “See? You’re enjoying it a lot.” 

Makoto lay underneath him helplessly, so open and vulnerable; he could only hide behind his arms.

“Makoto likes doing dirty things,” teased Haruka, pounding into him hard and deep. Filling him up just like how he wanted. 

“ _ Haru! _ ”

Fire engulfed Makoto’s body. He didn’t know how long he could last when Haruka was thrusting into him relentlessly like this. “Nghh… hah…” 

The tingling in his cock was getting more intense.  _ Please, please take it off,  _ he wanted to plead but he couldn’t find his voice, too engrossed in Haruka. _ _

“Haru, Haru, I—!”

And he came while the beads were still inside him. Haruka took them off—  _ finally— _ and he spurted hard into his chest. It was so intense, tears fell from the corners of his eyes. That never happened with anyone else. 

He looked up and found Haruka wiping his seed and studying it in his fingers like he couldn’t believe how much Makoto had come. A low laugh escaped his lips. 

Consumed and shamefully satisfied, Makoto flipped over to bury his face onto the mattress. 

Haruka lay down beside him and carded his fingers through Makoto’s fringe. “Felt good?”

Still unable to find his voice, Makoto could only nod. 

They lay down in silence and skated their fingers across each other’s skin. It didn’t take long until they started kissing and touching again, wanting to do it one more time. They tried to find the rhythm and failed because exhaustion overwhelmed them, so they took a break to get some snacks and talk.

“Did I do this?” Makoto brushed his fingertips on the angry red lines across Haruka’s ribs. 

Haruka smiled lazily. “Sometimes when you get carried away, you bite and scratch a little too hard.” 

Makoto’s mouth gaped. “I’m so sorry…” 

“It’s all good. You can always make it up to me.” Haruka looped his arms around Makoto’s neck and pulled him down for a kiss. 

Makoto’s heart soared every time Haruka asked him for another round. He had never fucked with anyone so frequently before and that was why pleasuring Haruka made him so happy. He was insatiable in bed, always wanting for more. Makoto would be very excited to explore him, to learn where to touch him best and how to make him moan and scream his name out of bliss. 

Haruka never made fun of him when he showed inexperience. Each time Makoto wanted to try something new, he would say  _ okay, let’s do it _ . He helped Makoto feel comfortable around him and to be himself without feeling like a freak. Their current relationship made Makoto feel like he was seeing the world with brand new colours and he embraced it with arms wide open. 

The only catch was they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. 

After finishing twice more, they collapsed in bed, shoulders touching and skin glistening with sweat as they caught their breaths. 

“It’s Thursday tomorrow, isn’t it? I have class at 10.” Makoto yawned. “We should probably go to sleep.” 

“Okay.” 

A pause. Inhale, exhale. “Just one last time?” 

Haruka’s eyes flew open and he chuckled. “Alright.” 

And because they were Makoto and Haruka,  _ one last time _ turned to three. Every time one of them said  _ just one more, _ they would end up having sex a few more times because they were weak-willed creatures who couldn’t say no to one another. 

They went to class the next day with aching bodies and dark circles around their eyes, looking forward to losing themselves in each other again that night. 

* * *

The Fridge was a Friday night haunt for Haruka and Rin. The first time Rin brought Haruka there, his jaw dropped. Haruka didn’t expect that a tall, yellow fridge door at a taco restaurant could lead to the thrilling world of strobe lights and mixed cocktails. Since then, they frequented the bar and kept it a closely-guarded secret between the two of them. 

“Mom wants to know when you’ll visit again,” Rin said while they waited for their drinks. “She’s been pestering me for ages.”

“Tell her I’ll drop by during the summer break,” replied Haruka. 

“You should give her a call and tell her yourself. She misses you so much. She dropped by the apartment last night and made  _ shogayaki _ for me and Sousuke. She kept bringing you up: ‘How’s Haruka? Is he eating well? He hasn’t called me in a long time.’” 

Haruka smiled fondly. “Oh, Auntie. I’ll definitely visit you guys in August so you better prepare my bedroom.” 

Their drinks arrived and Rin took snaps of them to post on every social media account he owned. 

Haruka rolled his eyes. “If you didn’t post it online, did it ever happen?” 

“Shut up.” 

They sat at the bar counter and had more drinks until a towering, whitish-blond guy approached Haruka. “Haru!” 

“Oh hey, Albert!” Haruka flawlessly switched to English. “This is my best friend, Matsuoka Rin. Rin, this is Albert Wåhlander. He’s a culinary arts student from Sweden.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too.” 

The three of them chatted for a while. Albert asked about the other cool bars he could visit and Haruka and Rin made a few suggestions. 

“By the way Haru, the guys and I were talking about taking a food tour in Europe for the summer holidays. Are you down?”

“Sure. That sounds fun! It’s been a long time since I visited Europe.” 

“Awesome! I’ll let them know you’re coming. Alright, I’ll see you guys later!”

When Albert disappeared to his friends’ table, the conversation switched back to Nihongo. Rin teased Haruka, “I didn’t know you had a thing for foreigners.” 

“It’s not like that.” Haruka sipped his vodka. “We just share a common love for good mackerel, that’s all.” 

“Ugh I can picture you two getting a mansion with its own aquarium and fucking in it to express your passionate love for mackerel!”

“That will never happen.” 

Rin’s eyes glowed as he flashed a sharp grin. “That’s right, you’re dating Makoto now!” 

“We’re just having fun.” 

“I can’t believe I haven’t teased him about it yet. He’s gonna get all cute and flustered like a teenage girl!”

“Oh, leave him alone.” Haruka fished his phone out of his pocket to see if he had any new messages. Makoto’s last message was after his last class.  _ i’m going out with friends too. have fun with rin! _

When he looked up, Rin was gawking at him like he’d morphed into a seven-tentacled bird. “Your phone is fully charged and you’re actually using it… Who are you and what have you done to Nanase Haruka?” 

Haruka was about to snap a witty response but was interrupted by a prattling pink-haired guy who emerged from the fridge door. A tanned redhead came in, followed by— 

“Makoto?” 

“Haru! Rin!” Makoto perked up and approached the bar counter, his smile bright in the low light. 

“Matsuoka, hey!” Makoto’s two other friends joined them. Haruka had met them before but he couldn’t recall when and where. From the familiar way they talked to Rin, he guessed they were from the business department too. 

Makoto introduced them to Haruka. The redhead was called Shiina Asahi and the pink-haired guy was Shigino Kisumi.  _ What a perverted name. _

“There’s an empty table in the corner. Let’s go!” Shigino hooked an arm around Makoto’s shoulder. 

“See you later, guys!” Makoto told Haruka and Rin. 

“See you.” 

“Don’t you remember them?” asked Rin once they were out of earshot. “We were in first year when Kisumi flirted with you at a bar. He told you his name and you thought he was asking for a kiss. That was hilarious!” 

“Oh. So that’s why I don’t like him.”

“Hmm… I’m sure there’s another reason behind it.” 

Haruka averted his gaze. “I don’t know what you're talking about.” 

“Hey guys!” Albert called Haruka and Rin as his friends headed out the door. “We’re going to The Black Hole across the street. See you there in 10 minutes?”

“Yeah, we’ll be there!” Haruka smiled. From the corner of his eye, he could see Makoto watching the exchange. He turned to him and Makoto reluctantly smiled back at him. 

Shigino leaned against Makoto, asking for his reaction about the story he was telling, and Makoto turned his attention back to Shigino and Shiina. 

Rin watched all of it with avid interest, as if the only thing he needed was popcorn.

“Alright, let’s bounce!” exclaimed Haruka. 

* * *

Everyone thought Sousuke was the calm, patient one between him and Rin. If they saw them studying together in their shared apartment on a Sunday afternoon, they would find that Sousuke was insufferable and Rin had the patience of a saint. 

Seeing Sousuke nodding off while trying to comprehend a wall of English text on his laptop screen, Rin brought some peaches from the kitchen. He sat across Sousuke, on the edge of the bed, and nudged him. “Hey, take a break for a while.” 

“Thanks.” Sousuke straightened up and ate some fruit. 

“What do you think about Haru and Makoto?”

Sousuke shrugged. “They seem to be getting really close to each other.”

Rin snorted. “So close that they ended up  _ inside. _ ” 

“Well, Nanase will sleep with anyone who’ll give him the time of day.” 

“That’s true. Hey, remember the threesome we had in senior year? That was fun.” 

Sousuke grimaced as if the peaches suddenly tasted like rust. “ _ Ugh _ why did you have to remind me? That was  _ one _ time! It won’t happen again.” 

Rin kicked his boyfriend’s shin lightly. “Why are you blushing so much? It’s what normal boarding school boys do! Everyone probably had sex with their friends at least once.”

“I know,” replied Sousuke. “It’s just— we were drinking in your room and he suddenly started crying about his cat that disappeared when he was five and—” 

“I wanted him to stop crying so I kissed him and you did too. We were so drunk, haha!”

That night began with tearful kisses and heavy sighs. Then the three of them touched and explored one another out of youthful curiosity. Haruka clung to them desperately and they fucked him until they all felt good and light again. 

“Ah glory days! The next day, you two went back to hating each other like nothing ever happened.” Rin laughed. “Admit it: you liked it.” 

Sousuke whipped his head to the side. 

“The thing is Haru can do it with anyone and never wants to be in a serious relationship,” said Rin. “He’ll see someone for about three weeks until something happens and he finds a new sex friend.” 

“Didn’t you say Makoto’s the same?” asked Sousuke.

“I’ve seen him with some guys and they didn’t seem to last either,” replied Rin. “So I’m really curious about these two.” 

“As long as they’re happy.” 

“Aw Sousuke, I knew you cared about them a lot!” Rin pinched his cheeks. 

They finished the peaches and picked up their lecture notes. Rin had finished his essay on tapioca imports so he resorted to helping Sousuke with his English lessons.  _ Might as well use what I learned in Australia,  _ he’d said after returning to Japan and started tutoring Sousuke in high school. _ _

He read the wall of text aloud and soon enough, Sousuke’s disinterest started showing again. Sousuke scooted closer to him and on the next paragraph, he was nosing Rin’s cheek like a needy puppy. 

“Focus here, dummy!” Rin slapped his arm. 

“ _ Ow! _ Stop hitting me!”

“I told you to concentrate. I’m making an effort here. You should too.” 

Sousuke wrapped his arms around Rin. “I’m sorry. I’m just… really bored.” 

“Okay, let’s play a game.” Rin held his gaze. “I’ll quiz you about this story and I’ll kiss you for every correct answer. Deal?” 

“Deal. After five correct answers, you should take one item of clothing off.” 

Rin squinted at him for a moment. “Okay.” 

Sousuke’s grin lit up the bedroom. Being the competitive guy that he was, he listened carefully and got a near-perfect score. At the end of their study session, he found himself naked and kissing Rin passionately in between the sheets. 

* * *

Haruka had officially adopted Makoto to give him a place to study while Rei and Nagisa went nuts over their own school work. Makoto had made it clear that the following days would be busy for him so they had agreed to take studying seriously and practice a little bit of self-control. 

Makoto had taken his usual seat at the study table and had spread his notes across it. Haruka sat on the bed, leafing through  _ Sustainable Seafood Consumption _ while petting Mizuki, who was curled up beside him. 

From time to time, Makoto would chance a glance at them, thinking he should be curled up with Haruka too. Then, he remembered the cold hand of jealousy slapping in the face last Friday night. The downside of being fuck buddies was nothing else bound them together apart from sex. They had separate friends, hang out places, and lives outside the bedroom. They were free to see who they wanted whether Makoto liked it or not, and they didn’t owe each other any explanations at all. 

Haruka could banter and flirt with tall, blond, and extremely good-looking European guys all he wanted and— and Makoto should really focus on studying. 

Haruka might have had caught him staring because he got off the bed and stretched, his toned stomach showing underneath his black shirt. 

“Do you need help?” He approached Makoto and looked at the notes across the study table. “I can help you study English and Accounting. I take them too.” 

“That’ll be great. Thanks, Haru!” Makoto smiled abashedly. “I’m having a hard time with English, to be honest. How about you?” 

“Not really. When I was a kid, my parents sent me to English summer camps in the US to keep me busy while they worked, so I had no choice but to learn the language.” 

“That’s so awesome though!” 

“It’s nothing.” 

“Rin told me you can ace anything without studying hard.”

“He’s a grade-A asshole and you two should stop talking about me when you’re together.”

Makoto pouted. “I’m sorry.” 

He grabbed Haruka before he could reply and kissed him. Mizuki jumped off the bed, meowing as she headed to the living room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Makoto and Haru are now friends with benefits, yay! What do you think about this chapter? Let me know in the comments. Otherwise, I'll see you next update. uwu


	6. and then i see you; it's okay, i'm okay, i'm alright again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto takes Haru out on a date.

Haruka was always a delight to watch during sex. How his mouth would gape open and make  _ uh, uh, uh _ noises with every deep thrust, how his face would be consumed with pleasure, and how his head would be thrown back in bliss— Makoto loved watching it all. 

As Haruka rode his cock, Makoto could only stay still and let him arch his glorious body and roll his hips at a pace that pushed them to the verge of coming. 

Sweat glistened on Haruka’s forehead as his fingers firmly grasped Makoto’s shoulders. “Hah— feels— so good—” 

“Ha-Haru?” 

Eyes closed, Haruka smiled. “Mm—yeah?” 

“I aced the recitation— for International Economics, and—  _ ah— _ I got lucky thanks to you—” 

All at once, Haruka stopped moving. He casted Makoto a warning glance and smirked. “I don’t bring good luck.” 

“But you just did,” insisted Makoto. “And I want to thank you by taking you out to dinner tomorrow.” 

“Aww Makoto! That’s really cute but you don’t have to bribe me for anything! As your fuck buddy, I will do whatever you want. Breath play, crossdressing, group sex… well, maybe not outdoors. I got stung by a wasp on my ball sack at a boat party last summer. Oops.” 

Lacing his arms around Haruka’s waist, Makoto flipped them over so that he was on top. He thrusted in and out of Haruka, slow and deep. “It’s not bribery. It’s a gesture of gratitude for helping me.” 

“Well, you don’t have to.”

“But I want to.” 

Haruka squinted at Makoto for a long moment and it made him want to shrink. “Okay. But it better be fancy. I’m not a cheap date.” 

“Okay. I know a place— my friends said there’s a new Italian restaurant in Ebisu.” 

“Do they have seafood?”

“Yeah, a lot.”

Haruka’s eyes twinkled with excitement. “Okay, let’s do it!” 

_ “Ah!” _ A hand slapped Makoto’s butt. As a response, he roughly prodded Haruka’s sweet spot. 

“Shit, tha— o _ h—  _ that feels good—!” Haruka said shakily, his body tensing around Makoto’s. His eyes rolled back in his head. “Yes, there—! Don’t stop!  _ Fuck!” _

* * *

They had agreed to meet outside Il Mare, an Italian seafood restaurant, at seven-thirty the next evening. Haruka emerged from the corner wearing a well-fitted black suit and a white dress shirt. His dark hair was swept to the side, with some strands falling delicately over his forehead. He grinned once he saw Makoto. “You look nice.” 

“Thanks. You too.” Makoto ran a hand over his slicked-back hair to hide his breathlessness. Haruka shouldn’t be allowed to compliment other people when he looked so dazzling like that. Makoto, however, was somehow relieved to know that the two hours he’d spent choosing his powder blue button-down shirt and dark grey blazer didn’t go to waste. “Shall we?” 

They entered the restaurant and were welcomed by the sound of clinking cutlery and muted dinner conversations. Everyone was in semi-formal attire— men in fine suits and women in designer dresses and high heels. Most of them spoke in different foreign languages. For a moment, Makoto forgot that he was in Tokyo. 

A hostess greeted them and showed them to their table. 

“After you.” Makoto placed his hand on Haruka’s back, but he immediately withdrew it when Haruka flinched and stepped away. “Sorry.” 

“‘S okay.” Haruka sat across him. He looked around the room, admiration in his eyes. “Have you been here before?” 

Makoto shook his head. “It’s my first time. When my friends told me this was a seafood restaurant, I figured you’d like to visit it with me.” 

“Smart move.” 

They ordered a full course dinner that included a squid salad, urchin egg pasta, and panna cotta, as well as a bottle of Sangiovese. 

Makoto shivered as agitation suddenly crept up at him. He’d never thought he’d ever take anyone to a fancy formal date before his late 20s. Was this what he was supposed to feel like? Was he supposed to sit stiffly and wrack his brains about things to talk about? 

He glanced at Haruka who was quietly people-watching, and nodded at the couples to his right. “Oh look, people are taking photos of their dinner.”

Haruka subtly turned their direction. “Are they afraid people won’t believe they went to a restaurant?”

They giggled. 

Soon, the first course was served. Both of them forked their own salad and commented on how flavourful it was. Haruka hummed in contentment as he took another bite. Desperate to keep him talking, Makoto made small remarks about the décor and their food. 

Applause erupted from the other side of the restaurant. A newly-engaged woman embraced her fiancé who was crying tears of joy. Everyone around their table congratulated them. Makoto smiled at Haruka who forced a tentative smile in return. Guilt knifed Makoto’s chest. 

There was an awkward silence as they ate their meals. They were halfway finished with their main course when suddenly, Haruka gasped. “It’s Chef Azuma and his husband! Fuck!” 

“Wh—?” 

Haruka disappeared under the table. 

“Haru?!” 

Makoto looked behind him to see who caused Haruka’s panic. A striking male couple in their forties was walking to their reserved table. The well-built, blond man held hands with his partner, whom Makoto recognised as Chef Azuma Ryuuji. He was a world-renowned chef who also happened to be Haruka’s professor at the university. Haruka had mentioned a lot of things about Chef Azuma, mainly his brilliant kitchen skills, perfectionism, and a very strong personality that sometimes clashed with Haruka’s. He had never said it explicitly, but from the way he spoke about his professor, Haruka had great respect and admiration for him. 

Makoto opened his mouth to say something as Haruka re-emerged from under the table, but he was cut short when Haruka blurted out, “SorryIhavetogo!” 

And just like that, Haruka fled from the restaurant. 

Stunned at the sudden turn of events, Makoto could only sit there alone and blink. Once he recovered, he asked their hostess to cancel the dessert and bring him the cheque. 

He left and walked aimlessly along the street, unsure of where to find Haruka. He was four blocks away from the restaurant when he considered ringing Haruka, but then he heard someone call his name. “Pssst! Makoto! I’m here!”

“Haru?”

Haruka was pacing up and down in a dumpster alley, holding a bottle of rosé. Why was he there and  _ where did he get that? _

“Did they see us?” 

“Who?”

“My professor. And his partner.” 

“No.” 

“Wooh, that was close.” Haruka ruffled his hair with a trembling hand. The emotional part of Makoto wanted to hold him and kiss his worries away, but his rational part decided it was best to keep his distance. “It would have been a disaster if they saw us together.”

“Ouch?”

“I didn’t mean it that way— it’s— it’s—” Haruka inhaled a shallow breath and took a long chug from the wine bottle. “Chef Azuma and his husband are the most serious, committed couple I know. They’re  _ married, _ for fuck’s sake! And they almost saw us in a place like  _ that. _ Are you ready to explain this— whatever this is— to anyone? Because I’m not. I wouldn’t have freaked out if we just hung out in my place tonight like we always do.” 

Makoto’s face fell. “I’m sorry I forced you to go on a date with me.” 

“Makoto, I like hanging out with you. You know that, right?” Haruka hunched his shoulders. “Just… not like this…” 

“I know.” 

“I’m sorry too. For ruining dinner and running away like a madman. It’s okay to say you’re upset.”

“I’m not upset… Maybe a little. But not really. I actually knew what I was getting with you, Haru.” 

Haruka sighed. “I told you upfront. I… I don’t do relationships.”

“Me neither.” Makoto reminded him. “So if we both know that it can't work, then there's no harm. Right?”

Haruka’s eyes brightened upon this realisation: he saw the gigantic, glowing  _ EXIT _ signs on every wall of the fort they had built around themselves. He was free to leave anytime he wished. “Right.” 

They gazed at each other wordlessly until they both broke into goofy grins. Haruka handed Makoto the bottle of rosé. 

He took a swig and winced, the alcohol burning down his throat. “I’m still hungry… You?” 

Haruka shrugged. “I could eat.” 

* * *

Half an hour later, Makoto and Haruka were eating some snacks and playing video games at the vintage Nintendo bar. They had kicked off their loafers, unbuttoned their suits, and sat in their favourite nook. Their intense match of Dr. Mario was about to end— Haruka had almost caught up with Makoto’s score— when the 8-bit music faded out and the TV shut down. 

“OH, COME ON!” They cried out and flung their arms in the air. 

_ “Ssh!!!” _

Sinking into the cushion, they snickered together like a pair of troublesome grade-schoolers. 

Haruka took a stick of chicken  _ yakitori.  _ “It’s a shame I didn’t finish my urchin egg pasta. It was  _ phenomenal.” _

“Should we make another reservation?” 

“Nah. I like stuffing my face with  _ yakitori _ better.” 

“Duly noted.” Makoto stole a piece of  _ gyoza _ from Haruka’s plate. He pointed at the half-finished rosé bottle. “Where did you get this, by the way?” 

“I might have grabbed it from someone else’s table as I rushed out of the restaurant.” 

Makoto chuckled in amusement. “You really are something else.” 

Haruka flashed a proud smile. “Thanks.” 

They continued stealing food from each other’s plate, their shoulders brushing as they munched noisily.

Perhaps it was best to keep things the way they were. They could keep hanging out like this, unbound by rules and finding joy in each other’s company. 

Makoto was perfectly fine with that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! it’s been a while. how’s 2020 treating you so far?
> 
> makoto and haru are charting new territories but it doesn’t always end up as expected. a classic case of expectations vs. reality. :’) what do you think will happen next????


	7. everybody wants you but baby you are mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto joins the gang on a 'Sunday Funday’ and finds out that Haru is going to Greece with Albert and a bunch of Culinary Arts guys.

Keeping quiet while being intimate was a challenge that thrilled Makoto. He was naturally loud, which sometimes made Haruka break into a giggling fit. _ Ssh… _ He would hush Makoto with a hand over his mouth, and his entire body would shake with suppressed laughter. It was a contagious sound that would ripple across Makoto as well, and they would end up giggling until they were breathless. 

They didn’t have to hold back when they were in Haruka’s apartment— he lived alone and all the rooms were soundproofed. They would usually meet there after their classes or their part-time jobs. This particular evening, however, they couldn’t wait any longer and so they ran to Makoto’s house, locked his bedroom door, and fell into bed.

Mindful of his housemates doing school work in the other room, Makoto bit the back of his hand as Haruka teased his body. Wrapping his warm and wonderful mouth around Makoto’s cock, Haruka went fast and then slow, heightening Makoto’s excitement with every stroke. 

_ “Haaa— _ Haru…” Makoto panted. “I want you— too—” 

Lustful blue eyes gazed up at Makoto and sent shivers down his spine. Smirking, Haruka eased his lower half over Makoto’s face so he could also taste him.

They lay on their side to get more comfortable. Makoto rested his head on Haruka’s thigh, sucking him off and prodding his puckered entrance. Haruka moaned and the vibrations in his throat made Makoto’s cock tingle. 

Closing his eyes, Makoto was over the moon about being able to please each other like this. It was more intimate than anything they had done before. They moaned and sighed. Their hips bucked as they found each other’s sweet spot. Haruka slapped and groped Makoto while Makoto sucked and finger-fucked him. He went faster and deeper into Haruka until something hot and sticky shot inside his throat. 

Almost at the same time, heat pooled in Makoto’s groin. His heartbeat got quicker by the second. He was about to cry out when Haruka pushed his cock deeper into his mouth. His body tensed as he came and Haruka savoured every squirt of cum. 

They lay still for a while and waited for the pulses of orgasm to fade. Makoto kissed the inside of Haruka’s thighs, letting his breathing calm down. He tensed as Haruka’s fingers skated ticklishly across his skin. 

Getting up, Haruka left lazy kisses all over Makoto’s face. Makoto tried to catch Haruka’s lips, but failed because he was hazy with exhaustion. Their teeth knocked together and they laughed. 

“You scared me a little,” whispered Haruka. “I thought you were going to scream.” 

Makoto nosed his sharp jawline. “I was, but you shoved your dick in my mouth.” 

They pressed their foreheads together and giggled.

Makoto got up to rest his head on Haruka’s chest, but temptation prompted him to blow raspberries on his stomach. He blew farting noises until Haruka’s muscles tensed. 

“Ah— S-Stop! It tickles!” Haruka protested in annoyance as he fisted Makoto’s hair. 

Smiling, Makoto pulled him to his chest and gave him a lingering, open-mouthed kiss. “You’re so cute, I can’t help it.” 

Haruka shot him a death glare. “I’m not _ cute.” _

Another bout of silence fell upon them and for a moment, only the sound of their breathing could be heard. 

“Hey…” Haruka twirled the strands of Makoto’s hair around his finger. His voice was soft with sleepiness.

“Hmm?”

“Rin is organising a Sunday Funday this weekend. Wanna come?”

“What’s Sunday Funday?” 

* * *

“Sunday Funday, better than a Monday. Can only do it one way AND THAT IS THE DRUNK WAYYYY!”

Makoto sat wordlessly as Rin, Haruka, and Rei chanted and tapped the table together one more time. Meanwhile, Sousuke had his arms crossed, quietly sinking in his seat from embarrassment. He looked like he wanted to sit with other people, any other group of friends who were having brunch at the garden restaurant on this beautiful June morning. _ I’m not with them, I don’t know them— I swear. _ But everyone else seemed to be unbothered, too preoccupied by their own brunch rituals to hear the noise everyone was making at their table. 

“Welcome, Makoto-senpai, to Sunday Funday: a day when we squeeze every drop of life out of the weekend before exam month!” Rei said with sparks of excitement in his eyes. 

“It involves a series of fun activities and near-constant drinking,” added Haruka.

“You picked the right day to come because it’s my turn,” bragged Rin.

“You take turns?” 

“Yeah, but this is the first time we’re doing this together. Two semesters ago, I made a list of activities for me, Rin, and Yamazaki,” answered Haruka. 

“Last time was Nagisa’s. It was with the swim team,” said Rei. 

Haruka looked around. “Speaking of the devil, where’s Nagisa? He was here a while ago.” 

“Behind you.” Rin beamed. 

Nagisa was holding a beach-themed cake with number 21 sparklers. _ Happy birthday to you… _He sang and Rin, Rei, and a half-hearted Sousuke immediately joined in. 

With his mouth hung open, Makoto whipped his head towards Haruka. Reluctantly, he sang as well. 

“Happy birthday, Haru-chan! Make a wish!” 

Haruka paused before blowing the candles. “Aw, thank you, guys.” 

“We’re gonna have the best Sunday Funday ever!” 

A thousand questions whirled in Makoto’s head but he kept his silence because he didn’t want to ruin the festive mood. 

Haruka cut the cake and gave a slice to each of his friends. It tasted as good as it looked. The sparkly sea-blue frosting blended well with the soft sponge and the brown sugar that was sprinkled all over the cake like sand. 

“So… finals are a month away. How are you guys holding up?” asked Rin. 

“Pretty okay. I need to make a Youtube channel as a final project,” said Nagisa, who was wearing round sunglasses and a white shirt that said **EAT THE RICH. **He put bamboo straws on his and Rei’s cocktails. “And this guy will use his film-making magic to help me.” 

“What will you talk about?” Makoto forked his cake. 

“I wanna talk about my environmental advocacy, but I should make it funny so everyone would watch it. They should laugh while I low-key throw shade at them. _ The planet is dying, _ obasan, _ so we should stop supporting fast fashion! _” 

“Is that why you had plastic eyeballs around your neck and stacked three enormous women’s wigs on your head the other day?”

“Yes, exactly!” Nagisa was thrilled by Makoto’s understanding of his noble cause. “I’m gonna wear silly outfits and introduce myself in a very creative way. _ I'm Hazuki Nagisa, the blemish on your face that you’ve managed to conceal for the past seventeen years! _” 

Everyone burst into laughter. 

“That’s brilliant!” praised Rin, teary-eyed. 

“If Rin-chan and Haru-chan were to have their own Youtube channel, what would they talk about?” 

“Hmmm… we’d probably talk about our poor life choices. We have a lot of those.” Rin slapped Haruka’s back and made him go _ ow! _ “Right, Haru?”

Haruka grunted. 

“One summer night in California, we tripped on acid, stripped off our clothes, and lay in the middle of the road to look at the sky,” shared Rin. 

Rei’s jaw dropped. “And you didn’t get hit by cars?” 

“It was like three in the morning in the suburbs.” Haruka shrugged. “We did catch a terrible cold and miss a surfing class the next day though.” 

“That sucks,” sympathised Nagisa. 

Rin looked at Nagisa and Rei. “Listen kids, it’s important to know which fun things you can and can’t do. Getting high and lying naked on the road? Sure, as long as you don’t get hit by cars. But DUI? Nope, _ never. _ In this day and age, there are lots of ways to get home.” 

“_ Or _ you can sleep on the ground.” Haruka took a bite of his white chocolate shell. “Take a long walk and find a dumpster and lie down… Just don’t drive when you’re drunk.” 

“Basically, you can do whatever you want, just try not to die or kill other people.” 

“Or get STDs.” 

Rin nodded gravely. 

Makoto chuckled with amusement, trying to make sense of the info-dump he’d heard. “I could listen to you guys talk all day.” 

Nagisa grabbed a handful of Makoto’s fries and shoved them in his mouth. “You guys made some pretty good points… Maybe I should talk about my random adventures like accidentally stealing things from people. I’ll call it _ a show where I talk about whatever I want. Because it’s my show and not yours! _” 

“That’s perfect.”

“Thanks, Haru-chan.” 

“If Haru were to have his own Youtube channel, he would probably talk about the disgusting things he’s done and still keeps doing on a regular basis,” said Rin.

Sousuke, who had been quiet up until this moment, gave an example. “He stays in the tub until his skin is cracked and bleeding.” 

Haruka chuckled and took a sip of Rin’s margarita. “On the other side of the spectrum, there was a time when the water freaked me out so I didn’t shower for two weeks, _ ugh! _” 

“Haru-chan, that’s— that’s—!” 

“Gross, right?” suggested Rin. 

“You have no idea,” insisted Sousuke. 

Haruka clapped back, “If Rin and Yamazaki say I’m disgusting, you know it’s real.” 

Rin scoffed and Sousuke shot daggers at him while the rest of the table laughed. 

“The three of you seem like you’ve spent all your lives together,” Makoto commented once everyone had calmed down. Haruka had told him that they’d known each other since primary school but he also wanted to hear it from Rin and Sousuke. 

“Well, not really. I met Haru when we were in first grade. I was already best friends with Sousuke back then.”

“He told me he met someone he wanted to swim with so he transferred schools and I followed him,” said Sousuke. 

“Because you couldn’t live without me.” Rin grinned teasingly and rested his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder. 

“I survived during the four years you were in Australia.” 

“You lived in Australia?” Makoto blinked. That was something Haruka hadn’t mentioned before. 

“Yeah, from middle school to the first year of high school.”

“What brought you back to Japan?” 

“Haru’s parents found out he could turn into a dolphin and wanted to give him to the circus. I had to save him.”

Haruka pouted. “I’m not an animal.” 

* * *

The gang finished their food and prepared for the string of surprise activities Rin had planned for them. While Haruka ordered some drinks for the road, Rin pulled Makoto outside the restaurant. 

“Haru is leaving in August. He’s going to Greece with a bunch of Culinary Arts guys!” 

Makoto knitted his eyebrows. “Greece?! For summer break?” 

“Yeah. He already booked roundtrip tickets.” 

“Well— that’s okay. We’re both free to do what we want… Just like how he didn’t tell me it’s his birthday today.”

Rin sighed. “Haru doesn’t like people making a big fuss out of his birthday. Anyway, do you really want him to go island hopping in Greece with a bunch of dudes?” 

They both watched Haruka pour liquor after liquor into empty water bottles. He meticulously measured the drinks like an experienced chemist. 

Rin recalled what Haruka told him after booking his flights. _ Sometimes when I look at Makoto, I swear I can see years into the future with him. And that is why I am thinking of getting on that plane. _

“Look, he’s a fully-grown adult. He can make his own decisions,” insisted Makoto. 

“No, he can’t! His decisions are 99% dog shit. One time, he jumped into a koi pond at a mall and we got banned for three months!” exclaimed Rin. “By some miracle, you’re his only fuck buddy who’s made it past the three-week mark. So ask yourself this: will you really let him go just like that?” 

Makoto took a deep breath and debated with himself. He met Rin’s eyes. “Okay, okay, let’s see how this day goes.” 

Nagisa, Rei, Sousuke and Haruka exited the restaurant. 

“There you are!” Haruka handed Makoto his bottle of the mystery cocktail and put some sunglasses on. “You guys ready?” 

* * *

The first stop was a second-hand record store in Shibuya where the smell of old vinyl clung to the air like a fixture. A strong breeze of nostalgia swept across the room as everyone rifled through collection after collection of vintage records. 

Nagisa pulled out an LP of children’s songs. “Aww my parents used to play these songs when I was a kid! Major throwback!” He hummed the tune of Rolling Acorn. “Rei, can you buy this for me?” 

“What for? We don’t have a record player at the apartment.” 

“I’ll grab one then. Just get this for me, please please _ please?” _

In the aisle next to them, Rin was helping Sousuke look for a record to give his older cousin. 

“What kind of music does Kazu-nii like?” 

“British punk.” Sousuke frowned. “But I don’t want him coming over and playing it in my room. He always puts the speakers on full blast…” 

Behind them, Makoto was idly flipping through some obscure foreign records. Haruka was on his phone again— he had been busy texting someone since arriving at the store. He put his phone in his pocket when he caught Makoto’s gaze. 

Makoto perked up. “Hey, pick a record. My treat.” 

“Alright, big spender.” Haruka flipped record after record until he found one that was called _ Chelsea Girl. _ “This one. It has the iconic song from _ The Royal Tenenbaums.” _

“The Royal what?” 

“You’ve never seen _ The Royal Tenenbaums _?” 

Makoto shook his head. 

“We’re totally gonna have a Wes Anderson marathon soon.” 

“Okay, but not until you tell me which you prefer: the city or the countryside?”

“I like both.”

“Why?”

“Why not?” 

“Surely, you like one more than the other,” insisted Makoto. “Think about it: the countryside has picture-perfect views, clean air, and the great outdoors, but it’s just one flat note, whereas the city… yes, it’s busy and crowded all the time, but it’s ever-changing and always has something new to offer. It’s like having the entire world on your doorstep— like here in Tokyo.” 

Haruka raised an eyebrow. “That’s weird coming from a country boy.” 

“Hey, Sapporo’s a city.” 

“What's the big deal?” 

“The big deal is that you cannot like two things which are diametrically opposed.”

“Hmm, and yet I do.”

* * *

Hydrangeas of pastel shades were all around Ueno Park. Families and groups of friends were taking a stroll and enjoying the cloudless day. Rei and Nagisa had somehow managed to get their hands on a kite. They ran around, desperate to make it fly. 

Haruka had already finished his bottled cocktail. He grabbed Rin’s and earned a glare from Sousuke. 

“Buy your own drink, Nanase.” 

He stuck his tongue out. 

Rin let out a defeated sigh. “Why am I surrounded by these jerks?” 

Makoto offered his bottle to Haruka. “You can have mine, Haru.”

“No, _ you _ have it! I wanna see what kind of a drunk you are!”

Rin raised an eyebrow. “You’ve never seen Makoto blackout drunk before?” 

“I don’t drink past my limit because I wanna make sure both of us get home in one piece,” reasoned Makoto. 

“But you already know I can hold my liquor really well, so you should drink up. Come on, it’s just one day!”

“I’m hungry,” mumbled Sousuke. 

“Alright, let’s check out the food stalls,” said Rin. 

The two of them immediately disappeared into the crowds. 

Makoto felt his stomach rumble at the mention of food. It was nearly three in the afternoon. “Wanna grab a bite too? I think they sell good seafood bowls over there.”

“Let’s go.” 

The food stalls were busy with customers queueing for their famed, mouth-watering meals. Makoto had been reading about different kinds of food so he could somehow connect with Haruka and his passion for cooking. His heart leapt whenever Haruka looked at him with bright eyes saying, _ yes that’s right! _

Haruka pointed to a stall that sold raw tuna, salmon, and squid. “Hey, I wanna check that one out.” 

Makoto was about to follow him when someone called out his name. 

“Tachibana?” 

Turning around, he saw a guy with a bleached undercut, purple hoodie, and a sharp grin. “Ha-Hashimoto?!” 

Hashimoto gave Makoto a bear hug and a slap on the back. “Hey, long time no see!” 

“Yeah.” 

Makoto’s chest tightened as he remembered hours of chatting on 9monsters, winter nights that had started with a few beers in bars and ended with them cuddling and exchanging body heat under the sheets. He tried to hide his apprehension and pretended to listen to Hashimoto saying how nice it was to hang around Ueno Park. 

“—Are you alone?” 

“N-No, I’m actually with someo—” 

Hashimoto pressed his lips against Makoto’s ear and whispered, “Hey, let’s hang out again some time.” 

His warm breath sent goosebumps across Makoto’s skin. “S-Sure!” 

“You still have my number?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Alright. See you again.” Hashimoto winked and walked away. He gave Haruka, who was across them, a wide grin as he passed by him. 

When Makoto walked towards Haruka, his face was expressionless. He kept tapping on his phone screen, and without looking up, he asked, “Was he your friend?”

“Uh— yeah, kind of.” 

Haruka nodded with a quiet understanding. His phone chimed again. 

“Someone’s very popular today,” remarked Makoto. 

“I know, sorry. Random people have magically remembered I exist.” Haruka tucked his phone back in his pocket. “There, done.” 

They ordered some _ takoyaki _ and joined the crowd surrounding two ladies who were playing _ shamisen. _ Donning elegant, floral-printed yukata and sitting in the sun, they were a sight to behold. A river of notes flawlessly streamed out of their _ shamisen _ with every strum and pluck, enchanting everyone who listened. 

Makoto’s mind, however, fluttered somewhere far away: to the lush islands of Southern Europe. What if Haruka goes to Greece and realises he didn’t want to be fuck buddies anymore? Did he plan to keep his vacation plans a secret just like his birthday? Did he think it unnecessary for Makoto to know?

He recalled his conversation with Rin this morning. Haruka _ could _ do whatever he wanted, see anyone he fancied, and visit anywhere he pleased. They weren’t a couple and they never established rules to follow. So, what right did Makoto have to meddle with his plans? 

But on the other hand… He liked Haruka more than anyone he’d ever known. He also liked this strange, unlabelled thing they shared and he didn’t want it to end. 

His worries would only stop once he got some answers, but how could he make himself ask Haruka the questions in his head? 

As the crowd dispersed, he and Haruka found a bench to rest for a while. Out of the blue, he asked, “Books or movies?” 

Haruka responded without skipping a beat, “Both. One has what the other doesn’t, so they complement each other.” 

“Rain or snow?” 

“They’re basically water, so I like both.” 

“Eggs or pancakes?” 

“Which one's the city, and which one's the countryside?” 

Makoto’s mouth gaped. “Are you serious?” 

Haruka crossed his arms. “You know why I don't want to pick one? Because you’re just waiting to fit my choices into a box, and why would I want to put myself through that?” 

“Because I'm asking you to.” Makoto gave him a fleeting smile and headed back to the food stalls. 

* * *

The Secret Bar was the last stop on Rin’s underground, Cool Kid List. It was a small, 24/7 bar where they could sing karaoke songs as loud and free as they wanted because the few people who knew about the place hardly go there in broad daylight. Nagisa and Rei immediately picked a duet, grabbed the microphone, and pulled the curtain that separated them from the rest of the bar. Rin followed, dragging Sousuke along with him. 

Makoto and Haruka sat at the counter and ordered some drinks. After the bartender served them, Asahi and Kisumi exited a soundproof booth from the corner and approached them. They smelled like cigarettes and fruit cocktails. “Hey guys!” 

“Asahi! Kisumi!” 

Haruka muttered a low _ hey. _

“What’s up?” asked Asahi. 

“We’re doing Sunday Funday today with Rin and some other friends,” replied Makoto. 

“Oh cool! We’re just about to leave, actually. We’re off to my uncle’s place to play golf,” said Kisumi. “Makoto, same time tomorrow, yeah? You should try to be a little late sometimes.” 

Asahi snorted. “Why? Is he always ridiculously early?”

“He always shows up at our doorstep _ fifteen _ minutes early.” Kisumi told Asahi and turned to Makoto. “Mom’s _ this _ close from adopting you because you’re so agreeable and polite and _ perfect.” _

Makoto laughed nervously. “I don’t know about that.”

“Alright, see you tomorrow, Makoto! Bye, Nanase!”

“Bye, guys!” 

Haruka nodded. Maybe it was a trick of light, but Makoto caught a glimpse of him giving them a stink eye before downing his vodka. 

Makoto took a sip of his drink as well, but it wasn’t enough to drown the buzzing thoughts that he’d been hearing all day. “Why didn’t you tell me it’s your birthday today?” 

“It’s not important.” 

Makoto drew his eyebrows together, “Are you for real?! Wha—” 

“—What would you have done if I told you?” Haruka gave him a challenging look. “Wake me up with breakfast in bed? Take me to an aquarium? To DisneySea?” 

“I don’t know… Do you like those things?” 

“I prefer doing Sunday Funday with you,” muttered Haruka, his eyes on the countertop.

Disarmed by Haruka’s words, Makoto stuttered, “I… Me too, actually… I— I like doing Sunday Funday with you… And the gang, of course. Everyone, haha!” 

Behind the curtain, Nagisa, Rei, and Rin were belting out an Ariana Grande song.

Once the chain of high notes ended, Makoto said, “I heard you’re leaving for summer break.”

Haruka stiffened in his seat, alarmed. “Is that why you’ve been asking me weird questions all day? Did Rin tell you about it?!” 

“What if one day, right—”

“—Makoto—”

“—What if eggs forced you to choose between themselves and pancakes, and you chose the soggy, tasteless pancakes, and you never ate eggs again, I'm just saying eggs— eggs would be really sad.”

“Makoto.” Haruka put his hand on top of Makoto’s. “If you don’t want me to go on this trip, just say it.” 

Makoto held his breath. “Don’t go.”

Haruka looked taken aback for a second. “Okay. I… won’t.” 

They shared a small smile. 

“So, on one side, it’s eggs— and let me guess: city, books… rain, and you?” Haruka looked at Makoto expectantly. “And on the other side, it’s pancakes… countryside, movies, snow, and my classmates?” 

Makoto let out an embarrassed laugh. “You know, I've been drinking all day and honestly, I'm not even sure anymore.”

* * *

After Nagisa and Rei called it a night, Haruka chose to sleep over at Makoto’s. They stayed in the living room to play video games. Aki was curled up comfortably on Haruka’s lap and Fuyu nestled her furry little body against Makoto’s thigh. 

Careful not to wake Aki, Haruka slowly reached for Makoto’s cheeseburger and took a big bite.

“I remember Sousuke getting mad at you for stealing Rin’s drink earlier. Have you two always been like that? You and Sousuke?” 

“Yeah, he hates me. Yamazaki thinks I stole Rin from him back in primary school, but it was Rin who was obsessed with swimming with me, so he went out of his way to transfer schools.” 

“You’re not in love with Rin, are you?” Makoto’s intention was to tease, but he sounded rather jealous. 

Haruka made a face. “No way! Although… I… might have slept with him a couple of times in high school…” His voice became lower as if he was mumbling to himself. “…and also Yamazaki, unfortunately… I might have slept with the both of them at the same time…” 

Makoto gawked at him. _ Did you really? _

“We were in an all boys’ school! Everyone probably has had sex with their best friend at least once. Rin and Yamazaki happened to be joined at the hip since birth so… But we only had a threesome once! I used to be horny _ all _the time! Well I still am, but it was worse back then.”

Makoto needed a moment to process this influx of new information. “Why are you telling me this?” 

“I’m practicing.” 

“Practicing what?” 

“Being honest. You’re always so honest, I admire that. On the contrary, I’m a giant liar. Always have been.” 

“Uh… Thanks for your honesty, I guess.” 

“For what it’s worth, there’s only one person I will ever love… And that person is me.” 

Makoto snorted. “Fair enough.” 

“And what about you? Is there something you want to tell me?” 

Giving him a confused look, Makoto shook his head. 

“You didn’t tell me you’ve been visiting Princess Bubblegum’s house.” Haruka started another game of _ Tekken 7. _He pressed the controller buttons with unnecessary force, as if he wanted to pulverise them too. 

“Princess Bubblegum?”

“Your friend with pink hair. What’s his name? Misumi? Suzuki?” Haruka’s eyebrows were knit together and Makoto knew it wasn’t because he was losing this round. His cheeks were puffed in annoyance and Makoto wanted to poke them because he was so _ adorable. _

“Kisumi,” he corrected. “I guess I forgot to tell you I tutor his younger brother. I work as a part-time tutor, remember?” 

“So you come to their house to teach his brother?” 

“Yeah.” 

Haruka’s annoyance deflated a little. “Oh.” 

Makoto couldn’t stop smiling. “Were you mad?” 

“No. Why would I be mad? It’s all good, _ man. _ We’re just—” Haruka pressed the buttons even harder. “—two independently existing people who get together to have sex. Whatever you do when we’re not boning is none of my business… Making plans with old sex friends, for example.” 

“I-I-It was on the spur of the moment! I didn’t really mean it!” Makoto’s face turned bright scarlet. “Well at least I didn’t keep it a secret from you. You were the one who decided to book a flight to Greece. I bet you didn’t plan to tell me so Rin did.” 

“It was only for a few days with my classmate, supposedly, and you’re making a big deal out of it.”

Makoto muttered under his breath, “It’s more than just _ one _ classmate though.” 

“So you_ are _ jealous.” Haruka held his gaze for a second and continued playing. “Why don't you just admit you can't handle it when I hang out with other guys?” 

“Fine, if you admit that you can't handle it when _ I _do.”

“Fine! Well then maybe we should be _ exclusive. _” Haruka said ‘exclusive’ with a dopey, sarcastic tone. “Is that what you want?”

Makoto matched his tone by imitating Goofy’s voice. _ “Oh that would be awesome. Let’s do that!” _

_ “Yeah, great!” _

_ “Great! Guess we’re exc_lu_sive, then.” _

Silence crossed the room. All they could hear were the characters’ laboured grunting. _ Round three. Ready, fight! _

Haruka paused to search Makoto’s face. “Wait… Are we being sarcastic or are we exclusively dating for real?” 

“I got a little bit lost in there somewhere…” Makoto met his gaze reluctantly. “But yeah. I guess we’re… exclusive…” 

Haruka gave him a guarded look as if he was waiting for Makoto to say _ psych! _When he didn’t, a hint of a smile graced his lips. “Okay. Cool.” 

“Cool.” Makoto smiled back. 

They kept playing. 

“Did Nagisa really wear women’s wigs and plastic eyeballs the other day?” 

“Yup. Believe me, he’s done _ even _ weirder things…” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> should i continue? or should i end the fic here?
> 
> i really want to see this through tbh, but i need to know if you guys are still interested. pls say something :’)


	8. for the sweater people

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto and Haru avoid domesticity by partying nonstop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Content note:** excessive drinking and light bondage 

Haruka poked at the heart-shaped pancakes that were drizzled with syrup before digging in. Had maple syrup always smelled sickeningly sweet? He wrinkled his nose and sipped his black coffee. He should have insisted on making breakfast instead of leaving Nagisa and Rei in charge of the kitchen. 

Nagisa pushed the bottle of maple syrup towards Haruka. “Haru-chan, will you please pass the syrup to your _ boyfriend?” _

Haruka flinched. “Ugh!”

“We’re eating!” protested Makoto. 

“What? You’re boyfriends now, right?” Rei sliced his pancakes. “What do you call each other then? Lover? Baby? _ Sweetie?” _

Haruka and Makoto chorused another noise of disgust. 

“We’re not—” Haruka made a face, “—b—_ boyfriends… _We just had a verbal agreement about not sleeping with other people.”

“We could stop seeing each other a week or a month from now,” added Makoto. “Who knows?” 

“In the meantime, we’ll hang out and party until early morning like usual. Nothing will change except we’ll do more things together. It’ll be fun!”

* * *

“You look terrible,” remarked Rin. 

“Thanks.” Haruka yawned and took a big gulp of his electrolyte drink. He and Rin were on their regular after-class coffee run, but he opted out of ordering his usual hazelnut latte. He was sure he would start having convulsions if he had more caffeine. “It’s been three days since Makoto and I have been exclusive, and we’ve been partying nonstop. If I don't get a night off soon, I think my liver is going to slide out of my body, you know?” 

“Then why don’t you get a night off, dummy?” Rin sipped his caramel macchiato. “You and Makoto should take it easy. You two getting together doesn’t signify the end of the world. Spend the night at home, read a book, and be cosy.” 

“Is that what you and Yamazaki do when you’re not sucking each other’s faces?” 

“Our wild and restless phase is over, believe it or not. Now, we’re into wearing matching sweaters and making coffee for each other in the morning…” 

Haruka tuned out of the conversation as soon as Rin launched into a series of lovesick vignettes. He wasn’t sure if it was his best friend’s intention to freak him out, but those fantasies were definitely giving him the shivers. 

“Why do I feel like you’re the president of the Happy Housewives Club and you’re welcoming me as your new member?” 

Rin laughed. _ “In the Happy Housewives Club, we’ll teach you how to grow a garden with your husband, raise pets together, and ultimately, make you realise that domestic bliss is the best.” _

Haruka winced and took a sip of Rin’s coffee. “Gross.”

* * *

The bars of Ni-Chome had become a new haunt for Haruka and Makoto. For the past few nights, they had familiarised with the bars’ old-school discotheque music and rainbow-adorned walls. Haruka sat at the bar counter with cross-dressers and office girls while waiting for Makoto, who took a toilet break. 

A big, bulky guy in a schoolgirl costume called Riku casually started chatting with him until he opened up about his dying relationship with his boyfriend.

“In the early days, Ken and I used to have actual fun,” lamented Riku, pressing his face against the cold countertop. “Then, it was laptops in bed and lights out at 10 o’clock. And next thing I knew I was calling him ‘the hubs’ and he could only finish in my hand.”

Haruka’s eyes widened. “Woah.” 

“Listen to me, Haru: every relationship turns gross, old, and boring.” 

Haruka was thinking about something to say when Riku perked up. “I know! You and your boyfriend can do BDSM tonight! Do a little whipping, bondage… blood play… Your guy looks like he can be a pretty mean S.” 

“Uh, we’re kinda turning in for the night. We have classes in the mo—” 

Riku grabbed Haruka’s shoulders and shook him. “No! Don’t puss out this early. Keep it awesome for as long as you can. You go home tonight and dress up real slutty, and do BDSM with your boyfriend. For all of us who let love die by becoming ordinary.”

“I—” 

“Do it for the sweater people, Haru…” 

Makoto—_ finally— _ returned. “I’m all done. I’m sorry it took a while. The couple before me— Haru?” 

Riku unceremoniously released Haruka. 

Frowning, Makoto reached for his boyfriend’s hand. “Is everything okay?”

“Y-Yeah. Let’s go home.” 

* * *

Makoto shouldn’t be thrilled to do something so mundane, but he’d been secretly looking forward to one night of just lying in bed and doing _ nothing. _ He had never drank so much his whole life before he and Haruka got together; he wouldn’t be surprised if his blood had turned into alcohol. And so when they didn’t make plans the following night, he happily put on a pair of pyjamas and slipped under the covers. 

He was about to say how much he’d missed his own bed when Haruka let out a heavy sigh.

“What’s wrong?” asked Makoto.

Haruka hunched his shoulders. Wearing Makoto’s old and tattered shirts made him look even smaller. “We won’t do this every night, will we?” 

“Lie in bed and go to sleep right away?” 

“Y-Yeah. We… We’re just taking a little break, right? We’ll party again when we’re not tired anymore and everything will go back to normal.” 

“Of course! If that’s what you want.” 

“Okay, cool.” Haruka chuckled half-heartedly. ”Because if we keep doing this, soon we’ll start having candlelight dinners and vanilla sex. We’ll be doing domestic things like boring normals until our relationship becomes stagnant and eventually dies on its own.” 

A chill ran down Makoto’s spine. “Y-You’re right! We’re never gonna be one of those couples!”

“Okay. Good.” 

Makoto turned off the night light as Haruka lay down and pulled the blanket up to his chin. Instead of saying _ good night, _ he checked the time on his phone. It was a little after 10 p.m. 

“It’s still pretty early. Do you want to go out?” 

Opening his eyes, Haruka instantly replied, “Yeah, let’s go.”

They got dressed quickly and took the train to Shinjuku. Soon, they were surrounded by people dancing under the neon strobe lights as the deafening music thumped across the room. 

Haruka searched Makoto’s eyes desperately. “So we'll just stick to clear liquids?” 

“Sounds good,” replied Makoto as they sat at the counter. “Two vodkas, please.” 

* * *

Rei gasped and backed away after catching a sight of Makoto and Haruka passed out on the kitchen floor. They were naked and lying on their stomach with their legs tangled together. Bite marks covered Makoto’s neck and his shoulders. Haruka’s thighs had deep purple bruises that were shaped like hands.

They looked cold. 

Hurriedly, Rei went inside his and Nagisa’s bedroom. He called Nagisa so they could cover their two _ senpai _ with a blanket. 

“What time did they come home last night?” asked Rei. 

Nagisa bit his lip apprehensively. “I don’t know.” 

“What are we going to do with these two?” 

Half an hour later, Rei and Nagisa made omurice while Makoto and Haruka sat at the dining table. Makoto looked like he was trying not to give a loud belch, his hair mussed as if a tornado passed by it. Haruka could barely keep his eyes open as he stirred his coffee a thousand times. 

As Rei put the plates of omurice on the table, Makoto bowed his head low. “Sorry about the mess, guys. Won’t happen again.”

Rei and Nagisa exchanged looks. 

“As long as you two are happy.” 

* * *

More nights of non-stop partying rolled by. Makoto and Haruka drank more and stayed out later than the week before. They were having more sex too, humping like rabbits when they didn’t pass out right after a night out.

One night, they decided to stay in Haruka’s place and drink by themselves. Makoto stretched his arms and yawned while Haruka mixed the vodka and the soda that they bought from the convenience store downstairs. 

“Are you yawning?”

Makoto dropped his arms. “Haaaaa— I'm just excited for our night of alcohol and potentially dangerous sex acts!” 

_ “Fan _tastic!” Haruka smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. “We don't have to if you don't want to. I mean, I could be fine—”

“Pfft. Of course I want to do light bondage! Because you wanna try it. Right?”

Haruka let out a shaky breath and smiled wider. “YesIdo!” He gave Makoto his vodka and they shared a toast. “Yay.”

“Yay.” 

They drank until they felt the familiar buzz under their skin. Warmth spread across their bodies as they kissed and made out. Makoto could make Haruka laugh so easily whenever alcohol was involved, so he poured and poured more vodka into his glass. As expected, Haruka clung to Makoto and laughed into the crook of his neck. 

After five drinks, the strange instrumental music made Makoto’s veins sing and the two of them started dancing and taking off their clothes in between kisses. 

“Why are you so nice to me?” Haruka pinched Makoto’s cheeks and regarded him like he was a rare magical creature. His words were slurring together. “You should stop being such a nice guy— I could be hiding a dead body in my fridge for all you know.” 

Makoto snorted. “Yeah, right.” 

They carried their drinks to the bedroom and made out some more. When it was time for Makoto to tie Haruka’s hands together, a torrent of fear crashed over him. He suddenly remembered waking up naked on the kitchen floor and having little recollection of what had happened the night before. The lapses in his memory scared him even more after he saw the bruises he’d left on Haruka’s skin. 

What would he do if he’d black out again? 

“Haru… Haru, I don’t think I can do this…” 

“Are you kidding me?! You can’t just leave me like this!” Haruka pointed to his half-hard cock. 

“Can’t we just do it normally—”

Haruka huffed in frustration. “You know what? Fine, I’ll just find someone who can do it with me—” 

Makoto held him down. “No! I’ll do it!” 

He tied Haruka’s wrists with one of his neckties and sprawled him across the bed, face down. He thought about all the ways he could have Haruka— licking and nipping and sticking his fingers deep into him until he writhed and pleaded for more. His fantasies were interrupted when the real Haruka grumbled onto the pillow, “Put it in!” 

Giggling, Makoto answered, “Aren’t you a bossy bottom…” 

He started slow, and soon he got into the rhythm. His apprehension was replaced by a rush of excitement as Haruka moaned in utter pleasure. _ More, more, more… _

Makoto let arousal carry him away like the ocean currents, allowing his instincts take over. 

“Harder…_ Harder!” _ Haruka demanded, his voice getting a little hoarse. “Pull my hair— ow! Ah! Yes, _ yes! _Make it hurt more!” 

He wrapped his heavy fingers around Haruka’s throat, and all of a sudden, Makoto plunged into a pool of murky thoughts. Haruka was vulnerable, tied up like that, open to whatever Makoto wanted to do with him. He could embrace, caress, and worship him, or he could crush, defile, and make him scream in agony— and Haruka could only lie there to accept all of it.

A smile crossed Makoto’s lips. He pulled Haruka’s hair and pounded into him, playing him like a musical instrument whose cries of pain and pleasure harmonised with the frantic beating of Makoto’s heart. 

A loud yell broke out of Makoto as he climaxed. He had to heave and blink a couple of times to stop the room from swaying. 

Moments later, he heard sniffles that were muffled by the pillow. Alarmed, Makoto pulled out and untied Haruka as fast as he could.

“Haru? Haru, are you okay?” He pushed Haruka’s hair away from his forehead. His eyes were red and wet with tears. Did he dislocate something? “Haru, hey, look at me. Where does it hurt?” 

Haruka groaned and hid his face behind his bruised hands. Makoto was about to bomb him with another series of panicked questions when he started sobbing—

—Or _ laughing? _

“No, no…” Haruka revealed a tear-streaked grin. “It felt so good, I think I died and went to heaven.” 

A betrayed whimper rippled across the room. Makoto cradled Haruka and buried his face in his rumpled hair. “D-Don’t say things like that! You scared me!” 

Haruka’s laughter chimed in his ears. 

Panic spread to the tips of Makoto’s fingers upon realising what he’d just done. A bitter taste lingered in his mouth. Did he really feel _ pleasure _ from hurting Haruka? 

“—akoto —hey, are you okay? You poor thing, you must have been really scared. I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” Haruka planted a tender kiss after kiss on Makoto’s face for every apology. “I’m sorry… I won’t make you do things like that anymore.” 

They spent the rest of the night and the next morning cuddled up until Makoto felt a little bit better. 

* * *

Two more nights passed before they could admit to themselves what a train wreck they’d become.

Makoto sighed with relief as he and Haruka tucked themselves in at nine in the evening. His day was one long stretch of hazy class lectures and throbbing headaches. All he wanted to do was lie in bed with Haruka and listen to him talk about his day. 

“— and at work, I almost served an empty cup to a customer and I briefly forgot the word for ‘sugar’.” Haruka propped up a pillow behind him.

“I called my Economics professor ‘Mom’.” Makoto face-palmed. “_ ‘Tachibana, do a report on the consumption tax hike next meeting.’ _ ‘ _ Yes, Mom.’ _ And everyone in the room laughed. _ Ugh, _it was so embarrassing!” 

“We can’t keep doing this!” Haruka exclaimed at the same time Makoto concluded: “This has to stop.” 

There was a short pause before Haruka dropped his gaze to the blanket. “But I don't want to be one of the sweater people.” 

“Look, staying at home while other people go out to party doesn’t make us sweater people,” replied Makoto. “And what’s wrong with sweater people? Why are we even doing this to ourselves? We don’t have to do outrageous things to have fun and prove we’re fun people. We don’t have to prove _ anything _ to _ anyone. _ Right?” 

“Right.” 

Makoto retrieved his book from the nightstand. “So you're okay if I just lie here and read my book?”

“As long as it's okay I go to sleep immediately and rest for nine hours.”

“Deal.”

They gave each other a peck on the lips and called it a night. 

* * *

At around midnight, Makoto woke up to the sound of his name. 

“—akoto… _ Makoto.” _

He bolted upright upon hearing the panic and urgency in Haruka’s voice. Did he have a nightmare? 

Makoto rubbed his eyes and blinked away his sleepiness. “H’ru, what is’t?” 

Haruka was staring grimly at his phone screen. “How— How do you send animated images in chat?” 

“Animated… images?” Makoto borrowed Haruka’s phone to see what was causing him distress. “You mean _ GIFs?” _

“Yeah, those soundless videos that play on repeat. Rin has been sending me those for _ years _ because he knows I don’t know how to send them and it’s annoying.” 

Makoto scrolled through Rin and Haruka’s chat. It was one long thread of GIFs, occasionally interrupted by Haruka’s fruitless protests to stop his best friend’s ridiculous choice of communication. Haruka’s phone beeped as he received another message:

_go to sleep, dum dum_ _:P _

It was followed by a GIF of a baby falling asleep face down. 

“How do you do that?!” demanded Haruka. 

Makoto’s heart leaped in his chest. Suppressing his laughter, he scooted over to show Haruka how to use GIFs. “It’s really easy. Here, let me show you…” 

Watching Haruka’s reaction shift from confusion to eagerness to annoyance, Makoto let him choose the GIF and then sent it. “There.”

“Thank you.” Haruka relaxed his shoulders. “What do you call those again? _ Gifts?” _

“GIFs.” Makoto was unable to contain it this time— he burst into laughter. “I… I couldn’t believe you were so stressed about it!” 

“S-Stop laughing at me!” 

Makoto laughed even harder until the sides of his mouth and his stomach hurt. “Oh Haru, how can you be so adorable?” 

“Shut up.” Haruka blushed and made a face that reminded Makoto of an angry kitten. Angry, but cute. 

Makoto took a deep breath to compose himself. “Alright, let’s go back to sleep.” 

They lay under the covers, facing each other. When Makoto wrapped his arms around Haruka, he didn’t brush them off. He kissed the tip of Haruka’s nose. “Good night.”

“Good night.” 

Makoto fell asleep with a smile on his face. 


	9. announcement

hi, hello!!

so..... i moved to the mdzs fandom and decided to continue this fic there, which means i won't update this anymore. i know some of you are curious about how makoto and haru will sort out their fear of commitment, but i think it's best to give them an open ending where you can decide how they'll work on their issues together. 

thank you so much for all the kudos and comments. i really enjoyed writing this fic for u guys! see you around!!!! ♡

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you're interested in my wangxian sex friends series, you can read it [here](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1726168) (it has the same plot, except it's wangxian).


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